|
|
| December 31, 2010
Wake up. Dream-time, done. Wake up, seek truth. Wake up, look everywhere. Solutions hide - fresh places, old angles, I tend to interpret all except the obvious - those issues plainly shown - because that is ‘as I am’, issues and view I strive most to avoid. What then; what do I (or we) do and who are we present for, who are we acting for - our children, parents, an audience or are WE the audience - are we real, are we actors, or are they both one in the same? - Mark Kolke
December 30, 2010
Maybe, if we can’t dream it, we can’t have it. If that be true, we should dream more - a lot more – to get what we dream, get what we work for and most of all, to vividly experience the times we’ve dreamt of. Those best times follow worst times, it seems, and tough times follow best times, like hill and valley on life’s roller-coaster - there are better ‘better’ times atop each hill, and ‘lesser’ bad times in each undulating valley – where a garden patch awaits our cultivation, when we stop reviewing pasts and start building a new future, at last . . . - Mark Kolke
December 29, 2010
Is it the voice of reason? Or the age of reason? - that which springs to life with the sunshine – the answers are not blowing in the wind, the voices sing through the trees and mix in the forest of too many thoughts; echoes in an empty castle, a taste left on our lip . . Do you want big times, or little times? Depends, I suppose, on whether we are talking about successes or mistakes. What do you want? I’ve been looking at some things I want, issues that affect me and why I want them – and what I am doing about bringing them about. - Mark Kolke
December 28, 2010
Facing realities I don’t like – my choice is to try to change them, or not; but first there is more pressing choice - to recognize which ones matter enough and separate them from the ones that don’t matter at all. What makes so many small thing important, or are they? These individual arm-wrestles, our own tiny mountains to climb – but too often we make them Everests too big to be mended, healed and gone away . . Some of these choices/activities are serious life-wrestles, some are just an entertainment – the trick is not just to see which it is for you, but to know what it is for the other fella . . - Mark Kolke
December 27, 2010
Reality, today’s facts and my own natural landscape do not easily provide for my needs – for my fantasy, dreams and imagination needs. This landscape of life’s rocky land has many obstacles, but I felt momentum starting; give me fact, give me truth – not smoothed truth, but real landscape sightings, eroded in relief so I can clearly see, like a deer on a ridge grazing in evening light. There is no remedy for this but to keep on, crashing on rocks and slowing down, at that calmer point, between the swift current and motionless shore. - Mark Kolke
December 26, 2010
I’ve booked a round-trip ticket, around my writing room - here, inspiration lurks - I feel it; projects strewn, semblance of priority order, but not much; not-finished mixed with the un-started, mental gymnastics determining what should be attacked, or trashed, which should be done first or last, all at the same time . . . or not done at all. - Mark Kolke
December 25, 2010
There is a need in us, in me at least, that aches for the simple; this is perverse because I am far from simple and I tend to avoid simple people – because I’m drawn to the complex ones, not always ‘dark ones’ in terms of temperament or unresolved issues, but because the complex intrigues me. Complex can be soft and warm – or adventurous of body, mind and spirit – or all of these things; but sometimes things just need work, a paint roller and a lawn mower to spruce up our lives, trim our rough edges. - Mark Kolke
December 24, 2010
Have you made a familiar plan, checked a familiar route – or have you changed your mind? No desire to race, to some imagined finish line – one mile, one curve, one adventure at a time seems the best way to observe scenery. I want a quality test-drive experience, of acceleration, and braking, high speeds and coasting too, hairpin turns and long straight-aways, cruising through questions, answers. I see this, as some form of dance, where notes have yet to make the music, where tiny encounters leave every thing changed a little bit, and the mind changed most of all. - Mark Kolke
December 23, 2010
We all know our path once we’ve got where we are going; until then, we are wandering for the most part, putting a toe in the water here and there. Look out - could be dangerous – some days, that is what life shows us, it doesn’t owe us; we don’t find our way to what is true. What is true finds its way to us - to you and to me. - Mark Kolke
December 22, 2010
It is true, there are some things we enjoy, some we live for, and some we could happily die having never experienced; these are neither good nor bad, right nor wrong . . but inevitably clear. Within our limits – or without them – issues are separated by these firm lines known as boundaries; some drawn in the sand, some in the air, some set in concrete. Most of us have these in some form, some have built fences around every issue and, thankfully, only a few have no concept of boundaries whatever. - Mark Kolke
December 21, 2010
It’s not foggy out there, I just can’t see far into the future - sometimes have difficulty seeing what is really going on, because I only see through my own lens/bias . . and tend to see things as I want them to be, see others as I wish them to be – just as they have their own notion of who I/we/they should be. Missed-communication can occur in an email nanosecond or in conversation devoid of inflection or raised eyebrow, so easily we get it wrong, so often we get it nearly right – but who really knows? - Mark Kolke
December 20, 2010
So many things aren’t what they seem – we search for illusive combos of intimacy and friendship in the same person – often finding we are in the right store on the wrong day, or pieces don’t fit yet, or at all, or ever will be, but still we search and try, again and again, because sitting where we are resigned to continuing as we have in the past we deserve to get what we got in the past. As that quote points out, all we really need to change is our mind. If we do that, the body follows, the actions follow, the changes follow. - Mark Kolke
December 19, 2010
What do you believe? Does it all make sense? How does it look to you, to others looking in - do we let love come in as easily as we dole it out? And, if we aren’t doling it out, how can we expect it to come in? I’ve concerned myself a bit with these questions lately, in part trying to figure some things out - in part from trying to figure someone else out. Some things thrill, some scare – some do both. Does that resolve any big question? Or, do we have to trust in people, in ourselves, in our own beliefs – and is that strong enough to foster disobedience of the logic of our brain, or in someone else’s brain, simply because you believe something strongly? - Mark Kolke
December 18, 2010
Whatever remains – when we put things/people together, and then, pull them apart again – is like digging a hole in the ground, then refilling it with what was removed; there is always more - emotion, frozen in thought, lumps in the throat, put on canvas or page punctuated with love and pain and finding something; these leftovers are real growth. Let me ruminate thereon, I will respond to you: ‘Hmmm, what's my pleasure?’. Whatever remains, when we are done, is what we are and who we are – to ourselves and to each other. - Mark Kolke
December 17, 2010
Little bits, little steps, miss-steps - I’d like some back – chance at do-over’s, re-do’s, some oops-reversals. But I regret little; not much, just a little. I didn’t stumble, did I? I didn’t fall. I didn’t slip off the trail, did I? My big toe, my big mouth, my big ideas – each get in my way, cause temporary pain, bring focus to the moment, beget silence - if only to find the slightest slimness - just a sliver shard of discovery – found there, when we stumble upon. - Mark Kolke
December 16, 2010
I want a lot, I expect there will be a revolutionary feel to it – so IT, that which I seek, is never described in terms of what I might compare it to that has gone before, but in new terms, in new experiences and that - my friends - is worth waiting, worth every struggle, worth intermittent joys and pains, rights and re-writes, wrongs, and wrongs repeated. - Mark Kolke
December 15, 2010
We’ve all lost something, all found something, all loved someone, all started something new, looked around a corner, under a rock – inside and outside the box, we’ve all been curious, all been lost and all been found. Again and again and again. Self, precious commodity we lose track of sometime; how do we find it? If we’ve mislaid it, how do we reclaim it? Like all we create, we need to surrender to it, not control it, which is scary ‘cuz we have no idea or control of outcome. - Mark Kolke
December 14, 2010
Living in this world, wanting to change it, or simply to change the way we think we think - does not flow into a design of us, it is the design of us. Like a book, when you are done, you’ve read your life, cover to cover. - Mark Kolke
December 13, 2010
Getting to know someone takes time, yet we so often (me too) reject someone before that getting acquainted really has a chance to happen – or, just as easily, we slip into familiar modes of intimacy too soon, foregoing the ingredients in a good recipe because we put the sizzle ahead of the steak. That said, I like sizzle. - Mark Kolke
December 12, 2010
Today you are old and new, déjà vu, we’ve been down this path: I met you and, so far, have enjoyed knowing you. Obviously the flavor of our getting to know each other better is going to take a different path than we might each have imagined when we began this journey. Long time ago, or just a week ago, or yesterday – my history, and yours, has so much to do with how we see things, how we think and our values. - Mark Kolke
December 11, 2010
Of life: ‘She fights and vanquishes me, and I live and breathe in her, and I have life and being.’ – Miguel de Cervantes . Like Cervantes, I enjoy writing of life in female terms; life as woman is, full of everything a woman is - sweetly refined to stoic, to bawdy, to tenacious, to nurturing, to combative, to brilliantly simple and simply complicated – life, to me is as perfect/imperfect as any idealized woman I love and who might love in return. I only know life from this male point of view, only see woman with male eyes. - Mark Kolke
December 10, 2010
What about this Friday, coming into a weekend; this is the day for winding up, winding down, closing up, for finishing, for completion – to close the week with a happy ending. If my attitude is that I can start something great today, I will. If my attitude is that I can finish something and start something on the same day, I will. If my attitude is that I can love and work and play all on the same day, I will. If my attitude is that I can, I will. Is your smile turned on, did your energy arrive with you at the office? We are reflections of our mood, our attitude. No need to check the mirror, everyone can see you – and when they see you, they see your attitude. Attitude has a direct connection to energy level; if our energy level is low, don’t look at the gas gauge, look in attitude mirror to see what kind of attitude you are wearing. – Mark Kolke
December 9, 2010
Making mistakes along our discovery path is part of learning and, growing; the stumbles we pick ourselves up from, where we come up with something we just ‘stumbled upon’. Few Edison/Einstein types got it right first time or even in the first hundred tries; they persevere, let critics and fears be sideline chatter while – with incredible focus on their purpose – concentrate on finding solutions somewhere along a path of experiments, often ‘the discovery’ is some surprise byproduct that had little to do with the problem they set out to solve or product they were inventing. - Mark Kolke
December 8, 2010
I write of life - as I see it, opinions (mine), point of view and the merits of having one, of ideas – in search of better understanding self and relationships. Too, it’s about love and lust, love found and lost, and of those joys when held in the palm of my hand. When I view my own situation, sometimes I can’t find myself with both hands. So I write. My reality is rooted in belief that – no matter how tough it might feel – this day is perfect. This day’s not broke. I see not need to fix it. Avoidance of reality never fixed a problem. Luck never made anything good that wasn’t good already. I see clearly when things don’t matter to me, I see clearly ‘someone else’s stuff’, I see clearly when it is someone else’s family, life, problems - sometimes, with open eyes and clear view I see nothing. As I write, things get clearer. - Mark Kolke
December 7, 2010
We all have the stuff of life, the stuff it takes to get through the hard parts – but that doesn’t make it any less hard. The things which get in our way, are just that along our path – not anything that should stop us from pursuit of goals or distract us from the route to our goals. I believe obstacles and opportunities are not different things – only when we let them be seen as one or the other do we lose sight of the fact that each is both. By this I don’t mean ‘every cloud has a silver lining’ as much as I mean .. it is probably a platinum lining – too large to haul to a smelter but bright and shiny enough to light our way. - Mark Kolke
December 6, 2010
When we venture …. if only for a moment into a new world that involves creating a road over/around an obstacle, turning the obstacle into a tool or vehicle for our own progress is our hope – our only hope, our best hope to getting where we need and want to be. That could be an immovable object - or a stubborn person, or our self. - Mark Kolke
December 5, 2010
Just when you think you have things figured out . . . someone you least expect, will toss you a curve, hurl a beauty – sometimes we foul it off, sometimes we swing and miss, sometimes we hit something solid and everybody starts running. Or, we can let the pitch sail by. Each are appropriate responses in baseball, where getting it right 30/100ths of the time has you batting .300 and picking up big paychecks. Still, it seems like calling a 70% failure rate a success. Maybe life is like baseball where 30% success is outstanding. In baseball that may be great, but in my life I want much more. - Mark Kolke
December 4, 2010
When Einstein types – are done with a project, they move on to the next complex problem – prepare once again to lay it all on the line, over and over, knowing a solution is somewhere to be found. In our lives and loves, do we do that? Isn’t that as important as developing new laws of physics, better gadgets or faster computer chips? Or maybe more. That, I think, is how these things work. - Mark Kolke
December 3, 2010
I’ve asked and been asked - how many times do we get a chance at magic, success, joy, redemption, forgiveness, a fresh start? The obvious answer we often forget, is: EVERY TIME. Yes, every time our chances are as good or better than the last time. Each kernel of an idea, each brush with inspiration, each hand we shake – brings with it the opportunity to know life in a new way. So, how many hands do you plan on shaking today? - Mark Kolke
December 2, 2010
I don’t want this opportunity to slip into my history book as ‘one more thing I never tried’. You see, there is a difference. We are ALL not so different; slight differences between us, so minor, to any outsider we are just human creatures walking the earth in search of things we don’t have to hunt for, because they are right here. We just need to be open to finding them in ourselves and in each other. If I don’t try, I’ll never know. If you don’t try, you’ll never know. Consider this - it won’t take long, won’t hurt very much – like a nurse giving a shot, just a tiny pinch – then it will be over. Or not. It might last. Some leaps are just child’s play, some change us. - Mark Kolke
December 1, 2010
In quiet times, ideas roam free, untested, unexplored hopes and dreams, creative solutions and simplicity. I don’t want to keep those thoughts quiet – not spoken of nearly enough. If not tried enough, they wither and shrink, and the improbable becomes the impossible. While words might draw us together – silence or fear can pull us apart. Words, a slurry-mix of feelings, hopes and efforts can keep us connected, unless we let fears and silence get in the way - like things that go bump in the night, they feel so real, so scary real – they drain joy, and remove the spring from our step. I believe in taking leaps – in leaping. - Mark Kolke
November 30, 2010
This life, this exhilarating death defying joy/grit-teeth time is a wide spectrum - from wildly exciting to acutely miserable - each element, all day, every day is worth it! Erica Jong wrote: ‘Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.’ I am convinced, whatever we think when we think we have some things figured out, you are wrong, I am wrong. We are both wrong, we are all wrong. When we only look for answers we don’t live, when we only look for solutions we don’t solve things; and each day that we look, another day and night of life slips by, runs by, flees - never to be seen again. - Mark Kolke
November 29, 2010
Good, good deeds, good fortune and good-luck, more candles, more matches – all have good in them, but do they all mean goodness? Which is best - to reach high, stretch high, strive hard, give, do, work, etc., or, to have no expectations, just an open mind, open eyes and an open heart, ready to receive what arrives? I want BOTH; perhaps the best blend would be high expectations of myself and with no expectations of others. I’m not sure how that would work, especially if I want reciprocity with someone of similar ilk. Maybe that is possible, maybe I can find that. Or, maybe I already have? - Mark Kolke
November 28, 2010
Do you know what I mean? Are you missing it too, or have you found it, kept it, turned up the heat with it? In the search for love, the quest for love – the urge for love, the need for love – the pursuit of love . . I’ve been wondering a lot lately; I’ve been looking back on times I’ve spent, things I’ve done and find that what used to be OK isn’t any longer. How can that be; am I growing a better conscience, looking deeper, caring more, needing more – debating which half-measures are OK and which are intolerable? - Mark Kolke
November 27, 2010
Results and effort seem to lack correlation; they seem random, unpredictable, irrational. I believe results flow in direct proportion to efforts; relationships and love require effort to keep them healthy. Not that abdication or inequity makes them go away, but quality suffers, joy subsides and value erodes. Still, I believe any effort to make someone else happy is not wasted. While it might fall on deaf ears, be misunderstood or misinterpreted, it is in the doing where the good resides. Anything else is a bonus. - Mark Kolke
November 26, 2010
From precious innocuous beginning – marvelous-ness flows. I don't know where the story goes from here, do you? What does my path look like? How about yours? Will they pass or cross? I’m open, I’m flexible, I’ve invited life in, with: “come on over whenever you like, stay as long as you want’. Notwithstanding best intentions, people always surprise; some change our lives, some mess them up – but how do we tell? I’ve not always done myself favors with such a mix of: bad timing, poor choices, misjudging myself, misjudging others, more bad timing, failure to act, failure to respond, failure to understand at the right time, failure to speak up at the right time, failure speak out at the right time and, and, and sometimes failure to shut and stop talking. - Mark Kolke
November 25, 2010
Some things I’ve done without careful deliberation, have been life altering joys; some have been bone-headed idiocies. STOP, don’t go – don’t go where you normally go, don’t be routine, don’t plan on the planned because someone will drop a load of poop right in the middle of it. Take a different approach to the day – because, surely, the day will take a different approach to you. Yes it will, every day. Is there a solution? Yes, I think there is. – Mark Kolke
November 24, 2010
Not leaping in foolishly, not leaping off a cliff or even talking a leap of faith, but leaping, as in leap-frog games we played as children. After we leap over the first big or scary thing – regroup to find we are OK, then summon courage to leap over the next, and the next. Scariest things we do are not leaps to certain injury - from building to building or from relationship to relationship – but rather when we don’t take a bold step in our head, when we won’t let an idea come in - or when we block one, in a corner, afraid of it. - Mark Kolke
November 23, 2010
Things can go wrong on a perfect summer day, but not often and not far wrong – because there is no place for angst, no cause for worry, no complaint about the weather or anything else. Summer afternoon . . . two beautiful words that cannot be improved by adding anything or by taking away any tiny thing – a key component in any perfect day. Where will life take us today? - Mark Kolke
November 22, 2010
If we showed our lives the way realtors show a house - we’d see a panorama of our lives, wouldn’t we? We’d see what it is like to take up residence ‘in us’, to inhabit our environs, ‘our stuff’ and our memories. These things live wherever we are – we pack the best parts when we move on. Some we get rid of too - some we give away, some we dispose of in the garage-sale, and some we ‘just forgot to move’. - Mark Kolke
November 21, 2010
We school ourselves to believe results we want require hard work, struggle and cleverness – that the goodies, the goals, the fruits of our labor – do not come easily. Not to say those virtues are not key components in our lives, or who we are, but consider that sometimes we just need to ask . . . - Mark Kolke
November 20, 2010
Do I have to travel to explore new ideas, new ways of seeing my landscape of issues? This is my vantage point. I see a world through these eyes, from here looking out – the world comes into focus from here. Like fuel to a frosty engine, humidity filled my nostrils; inspiration doesn’t come from Starbucks cups (jolts aid inspiration), doesn’t come from a dreams, soft touches or wild rides. - Mark Kolke
November 19, 2010
There have been so many times when half-hearted effort would have gotten me through most difficulties. Imagine if I’d given it more effort; I’ve been reflecting too, on those times where I gave no effort at all, the results showed it up for what it was. Conversely, when my efforts were focused, intentional, deliberate and energetic, the results in every aspect of my life improved. Seems obvious, so why don’t I do that more? - Mark Kolke
November 18, 2010
Light of morning arrives – leaks into this room, fuelsr my flame - opening dark rooms or Pandora’s box, sheds light in corners, still leaves some shadows for another day. Light of many sources; lighting our way, or having it lit for us by someone ahead, someone looking back at us, someone shining the light on us. Can we do anything better - than hold a light for someone? When it gets dark, or in morning when sleep ends; days when all we see is darkness it’s OK, isn’t it, to let someone else turn on lights, flick our switch to ON (irony of that being the flip side of NO always amuses me), lift our spirit with candle flame or whack us on the noggin with a flashlight? - Mark Kolke
November 17, 2010
There have been so many times when half-hearted effort would have gotten me through most difficulties. Imagine if I’d given it more effort; I’ve been reflecting too, on those times where I gave no effort at all, the results showed it up for what it was. Conversely, when my efforts were focused, intentional, deliberate and energetic, the results in every aspect of my life improved. Seems obvious, so why don’t I do that more? - Mark Kolke
November 16, 2010
Waves come in many forms; brainwaves, shockwaves, waves of emotion and waves of water. While much of today’s thinking and concern is about waves of water, I’m impacted more by some brainwaves – some of which will have long lasting impact for me. I’ve spent much time lately, in a futile way, wrestling with decisions around things, issues and people where a decision is not required. And, I don’t think one is called for. - Mark Kolke
November 15, 2010
Taking steps, at any age, that commit us to a choice, lead to results for which we are far more accountable than we ever imagine; and just as easily the lack of commitment, lack of effort, lack of desire – produce exactly what you might expect, very little at all just as the energy on Monday produces results by Friday. Something has to be ventured for something to be gained; not every day is a roaring success, but more of them are because of our deliberate effort. - Mark Kolke
November 14, 2010
I am convinced – the clarity of my view right now – is that the best thing I can do is focus on things I need to take care of, people I care about and the joy of the day. This is the right time for many things, but not the right time for forcing decisions on a set of facts or feelings, it is a time for living; a time for not changing because change, because cause and effect are going to create plenty of change for everyone to deal with. - Mark Kolke
November 13, 2010
We can’t ‘fix’ our friends or give winning advice every time; but, if their road is rough or journey sad, we can offer reminders that getting beyond our troubles is about perspective. ‘Don’t worry, be happy’ may work for most of us, but for some, down is down, blue is blue – they forgot why we are here. Goethe gave this gem: ‘What is important in life is life, and not the result of life.’ Just as important as McFerrin’s song. - Mark Kolke
November 12, 2010
We are all life long tourists, just visiting earth, all with an open date return ticket for departure. We arrived on our parent’s initiative and may leave unexpectedly – but while here we should see as much as we can of this place, take pictures, buy souvenirs, enjoy people, make friends, soak us some culture and enjoy the hospitality because we are here for a long visit. Being happy is not our mood every day, but why not? - Mark Kolke
November 11, 2010
Fresh lessons, like new ideas thrust upon us, seem that way at first; we realize most are not new at all, but old ideas in new clothes, realizations revisited, shortcomings and triumph reminders when conquests and dreams symbolize the best in us and the worst in us, because inevitably we are all a mixture of both. - Mark Kolke
November 10, 2010
I don’t look for conquest or money or success on life’s main stage; sure, I work hard for clients, projects and causes, but my main cause – that drives me - is love in the company of a partner, someone to hold and care for; someone to hold and care for me. Someone to celebrate me as I celebrate her – joys to share, sorrows to share, laughs and tears – as we sift fire-pit of memories gazing at summers sky or out into winter’s bluster . . . and, settling for no less than the most of what we can be, till death parts us. I’ve come close to perfecting this formula before, so many times, some ingredient always missing. Maybe that was my commitment. Chaos interfered, accidents of circumstances and lousy timing were often blamed. I’ve loved and lost; loved and won but not kept it; I’ve kept more than I deserved. Being afraid is OK. It has to be, or fear wouldn’t be part of life. When we’ve lost it all, lost someone completely, there is no replacement, just moving on alone. All that is left is who we are – alone, just us, just alone – perfect as the day we were born, ready for life. Lucky me. - Mark Kolke
November 9, 2010
All we can do, in my view, is to love someone. How long does that last? It lasts as long as the love lasts, and if that lasts longer than the person, then when does love rest or end or grow again? I’ve read much great prose and memorable quotes on this subject and they tell me love is the answer – it fixes everything, like a 3-IN-ONE oil for the heart. Maybe we should just pour love on it, and it will get better. I believe and trust that. Even when the evidence seems thin, it makes the sun rise, and lets light stream in where darkness lives. Maybe love is not the answer, but it seems to me to be the only fixer, only potion, only medicine to mend large wounds. Or to prevent them. - Mark Kolke
November 8, 2010
Ask yourself, do I have my life, or does it have me? - Mark Kolke
November 7, 2010
Memories matter, but how effective/selective is it as a tool to help us? Some of my best memories are not from yesterday, but weeks ago, years ago, decades ago – but how accurate are they, how clear are they? Looking back, I wonder if the accuracy of the memory is as important as the fondness for the ideas; and I suppose the bad memories too, stick with us most if they were really bad as opposed to just mildly irritating. - Mark Kolke
November 6, 2010
In my experience, great joys flow from two things. First, the unexpected event/thrill/surprise that comes, apparently, out of nowhere to paint us with a perpetual grin and childish giddy-state; hard to shake, nor would you want to. This is not a ‘lottery win’ kind of event, but the unexpected reward of deeds done, life led, past experiences, and, just when least expected, someone shows up, speaks up or reaches out to touch the center of us with some message more powerful than all others. It might be a profound action of some kind, or simple words like ‘too bad you are so far away’. The second comes from taking great risks, chancing huge disappointment and avoiding disaster. Thrill comes beyond the finish line, later – we reflect on having trusted life’s trapeze act …. swinging through the air without a net. Catch me, I won’t fall . . promise. - Mark Kolke
November 5, 2010
The likelihood that anyone will feel the same way I do, or that you do – ever - is so remote. We need to feel what we feel, and recognize that we and our feelings are just the water being poured on those rocks. No harm comes to us from that, unless we let our minds go a little nuts – then it seems to hurt. But, if we let that feeling go, let that hurt slide by, then it’s just water. - Mark Kolke
November 4, 2010
Life isn’t metaphor; the paths, the ideas, the rose gardens and the rose colored glasses, those are the metaphors. In hindsight, in retrospect, in looking back, I think the rear-view is as un-reliable as the forward view – not very. Why can’t we predict the risks? We can be smart about it, move slow in making decisions – but, sooner or later, we need to crawl out onto the skinny branches to grab the juiciest fruits of life. We risk catastrophic falls, but failing to go out on a limb is not a risk management maneuver, it is a sign we are afraid to risk life, to risk love, to risk success, to risk happiness. - Mark Kolke
November 3, 2010
Few things compare with the agonizing we sometimes do about a mis-step, mistake or mis-read of a situation. Many would be ‘no-fault’ accidents, but damages don’t go away just because we weren’t at fault of if somehow we were covered for it. The notion that looking back on past deeds, past mistakes and past triumphs will somehow guide us to better choices today, tomorrow or far down the future path is just not supported by evidence – it is like seeking insurance on the un-insurable. Health insurance can cover our hearts but does not extend to the broken heart or the lame brain. - Mark Kolke
November 2, 2010
Dawn seemed optimistic. By noon day will be in full flight, eager for a great afternoon so that it can rest easy after dinner, knowing it has been spent well, drifts off to sleep. What began with an expectation, a dream – ended with another sunset; so, again, we try. To wrap idea in action, to dream and believe it – nothing can stop us. - Mark Kolke
November 1, 2010
In that place between imagination and my potential – there is a longing that drives me; a need to fulfill, a feeling to have, to better understand my purpose in life. It doesn’t seem to fall out of a dream or from the leftovers of a conversation. Where is it then? To my future – you know who you are, you know where we’ll be; keep hoping, and I’ll keep hoping, and we’ll get there, at the right time and in the same place – both feet, deep end of the pool. - Mark Kolke
October 31, 2010
We open doors and ideas; ripped open, we pick a baton or idea to run with, not knowing which route is best, we pick it up just the same, we run hard just the same, we stretch to meet some far off finish line where pessimism equals pain. But optimism defeats pain, gives rise to hope; then hope slowly grows, to wash us, bathe us fresh in sunlight and paradise dream colors that wrap us gently, joyously and calmly with love and grace. - Mark Kolke
October 30, 2010
Hope means so much; together with timing and location, so important in all personal and commercial relationships. Of choosing the right time, to be in the same place, to choose the right partners, to be together in mind and locale challenges to remember good things don’t happen by wishing alone, but nothing happens without hope. And staying connected and re-connecting. - Mark Kolke
October 29, 2010
To be safe, clear - stay between life’s ditches – just go down middle of road, slowly. It must be easy, so many people doing it. But, there is much more value to venture, to adventure, to risk love and chance, to not thinking ‘outside the box’ but asking ‘why a box?’ - Mark Kolke
October 28, 2010
I hope. When someone utters those words, opportunity’s door opens. I hope to help, I hope to be, I hope to see, I hope to be able; the list goes on and on, the hopes we have. They live in us, often hidden away from view, but they live just the same. - Mark Kolke
October 27, 2010
Hope means so much; together with timing and location, so important in all personal and commercial relationships. Of choosing the right time, to be in the same place, to choose the right partners, to be together in mind and locale challenges to remember good things don’t happen by wishing alone, but nothing happens without hope. And staying connected and re-connecting. - Mark Kolke
October 26, 2010
Going slow through life is no more rational than going fast; we have no control over the pace of events, the appearance of characters – and each dawn comes whether we are awake to embrace it or not, we simply need to feel the fear, and do it anyway. - Mark Kolke
October 25, 2010
Each day brings both the expected, and the unexpected; the things we enjoy most and the things we fear most. Getting up doesn’t cause them, staying in bed doesn’t prevent them. There is so much I don’t know, but these things I know for sure. - Mark Kolke
October 24, 2010
Alone, we come in, alone we go out; in between, we seek company and comfort, friendship and stimulation, love and friendship, time and attention of others. We need it. We can live without it; but not very well. Or, we can choose to share it with someone. Sounds so simple; maybe it is, maybe I’ve made it too complicated in my life. - Mark Kolke
October 23, 2010
When I am up, I only see up, only look up; I believe that when we are so busy looking up we forget there is a down. To fly without net, swinging life’s trapeze – flips, spins, high swings; not immune to risk or fall or mistake, but expecting only good things. When I am down, I only see up; when I am down I believe that’s as low as I can go, so the only way, is up. I’d far rather have high expectations and take risks knowing risk of crushing disappointment is a hair-split away. Every action or inaction, carry these risks. - Mark Kolke
October 22, 2010
When I am up, I only see up, only look up; I believe that when we are so busy looking up we forget there is a down. To fly without net, swinging life’s trapeze – flips, spins, high swings; not immune to risk or fall or mistake, but expecting only good things. When I am down, I only see up; when I am down I believe that’s as low as I can go, so the only way, is up. I’d far rather have high expectations and take risks knowing risk of crushing disappointment is a hair-split away. Every action or inaction, carry these risks. - Mark Kolke
October 21, 2010
Turning points, forks in the road – lead to another path, fork or another fork choosing day. I’ve had my share of these fork-ing opportunities for a while. Time to rest, recharge, refresh and review paths I’ve taken - time too, to remind myself to never ever forget that I’ll always miss 100% of the shots I don’t take. - Mark Kolke
October 20, 2010
Expectations are about ‘expected’. Life and risk, is ‘unexpected’. Unexpected comes, out of blue, from places we weren’t looking – to be respected – as stupendous good fortune, stretching and being stretched, opportunity to be savored, kept or discarded, it is life. - Mark Kolke
October 19, 2010
I woke this morning - with clearly identified hopes, dreams, ambitions and values; these are my tools. The next few hours, and the people I encounter, are my raw material. I believe I can make something of it all. I’ll work on it. What are you working on today? - Mark Kolke
October 18, 2010
Life and love both deliver highs, lows and transition moments; some people call these learning opportunities. Some say they suck. We’ve all been in both mindsets, often on the same day. But, what can we do in life, with life, for life – if not to confront our anxiety, and the anxiety of others; is that not the essence of our worth, our value, our purpose? - Mark Kolke
October 17, 2010
The greatest risks one can take, I’ve taken. Because of them, I’m fearless. This does not mean I am immune to anything - but; I’ve been born, lived, loved, given life, worked, played, laughed, cried, mourned, succeeded, failed, succeeded again, failed again, succeeded, failed . . so many things; I’ve given, taken, given away, taken away. I am all I could have been, should have been; still, I’ve not had enough. If I want more life, more of life, then I need also to accept, to acknowledge, that my fair share of hurts and disappointments come with that. Still, I want more. - Mark Kolke
October 16, 2010
Look. See life. Through this lens, my lens; not a better lens but because it is different from yours. Anything seen from two views reminds me there are at least that many (often many more) ways to see. Seeing another, or any, or several others, may simply validate the view I had in the beginning. Or, prompt me to see another way to right an un-rightable, do an un-thinkable, or believe I can do the un-doable. - Mark Kolke
October 15, 2010
I used to be convinced that no issue, problem or conflict can be solved with a single action or a simple sentence, or a single word. I’ve changed that view; I see the simple, singular and elegant solution as more rule than exception. If you don’t get it, consider how it feels to have someone’s hand touch you, or hold or shake yours. It might shake, or shake up, your world. And, imagine, the word YES (not it’s alter-ego NO) at the right moment, the right situation, the right person – single syllable solution. ‘PLEASE’ is another one, but be careful on the inflection because pull-leeeze has no joy in it. - Mark Kolke
October 14, 2010
My road not yet fully traveled; so far I’ve miscalculated or misread about everything I could; underestimated, over-reacted – got it wrong. Lots. Assumptions made, conclusions drawn, actions I took. To sit in judgment now, if I used the yardstick others do, I’d be down, flattened, crushed, tossed aside road-kill. I’ve come so far. So far yet to go. - Mark Kolke
October 13, 2010
See my view. I see the same world you do; I see it my way. What do you see? Adventure/misfortune of others – interesting/entertaining; not as useful as learning our own. Gratifying as it is to have an audience, I write what pleases me, or pains me – not about them or for them. I examine my issues, my ideas, my problems; they come to mind from some trigger or silly headline or what is happening in my mixed and often mixed-up life; to explore what I might be. This adventure, where I enjoy poking life with a stick, or pressing it closer with a pillow; at times it is nothing, at times it is everything. - Mark Kolke
October 12, 2010
Obvious truth is not about math, but simply that sleep passed by is simply sleep lost, never to be recovered. This easy neglect, not unlike deferred dental maintenance, has a pay-back we all hate. Unless we have a wake-up call (or should that be called a ‘go to sleep call’?). Sleep. That’s it. Resolves everything, fixes all. Eliminates stress. Prevents tension. - Mark Kolke
October 11, 2010
Possible doesn’t mean certain. Waking up is risk. Going to bed is too; walking around, sitting still, each risky. Are we supposed to make something out of nothing; is that it? Is that our purpose? To seek, find, build, create? Some people think the purpose of life ought to be clearer; they find it so elusive most of the time. Day begins; I’ve been told I think too much, think too hard; perhaps true. I’ll have the tomorrow I want tomorrow; first, I’ll have the today I want to have today. I’ll be me, and you be you. With that, we can be happy, and life can have no better purpose. - Mark Kolke
October 10 , 2010
Like turtles, we don’t move far unless we stick necks out; I’ve had mine out a while. There are so many things and people that hit us with everything they have - aided by FUD (fear, uncertainty and doubt), they knock us down, or out, send us off course or get us to retreat, to pull heads back safely inside our shell. - Mark Kolke
October 9, 2010
Each day I am less concerned about nuances of whether things are true, or simply that they look true; more concerned with how I feel. Do you feel it too? That matters to me. If it feels just right, if we are that lucky, it might be only fleeting; we can only capture what we have in this moment, we have it – taste it, touch it, live it and love it – this is what I know, and I am not sure when I knew it, but I know it now. - Mark Kolke
October 8, 2010
To get up, anywhere, to walk around, see things as we are supposed to see them – affirm our need and right to see things as they truly are, from where we sit – is, without doubt, the best therapy. To wake in the morning, no clues how the day will unfold; to wake to a blank page, to wake to the sounds we hear. - Mark Kolke
October 7, 2010
When I truly connect with someone – it needs to be more than a simple act of pleasure; to feel close, connected, comfortable, to point where breath taking, just that – is having your breath taken away – and, in those moments, we are part of someone, and they, part of us. - Mark Kolke
October 6, 2010
If we realize the most important part of the tree is neither lumber or fruit, but the seed, there is a calm realization that the greatest value in things (and people too) is not in what we first see, or that which is most obvious. The greater value, perhaps, always lurks out of view, not because it doesn’t want to be seen, but because we are not tuned right to see it. - Mark Kolke
October 5, 2010
I am convinced that change happens, only, on its own terms and timetable. Still, I poke at it, prod it, to unearth and reveal an understanding - albeit something very small; the kind of understanding that leaves a smile on my face, like standing safely inside on a stormy rainy soggy drenched day. - Mark Kolke
October 4, 2010
What matters most might not be the thing that looks ‘most important’; what matters most has nothing to do with busy or a measurable task – but might be the difficult conversation that gives rise to a creative breakthrough . . when heart rate rises when tender touch arouses delicate skin; to conquer demons and limitations in our quest for truth, for certainty, for clarity, for peace and completion; this is life, we are in it. No time for cramming, if we are not prepared – too bad. We can’t go back and re-prepare. This is it. Leap in, it’s Monday. - Mark Kolke
October 3, 2010
We don’t need light to see it, or heat to feel it – it comes over us, a sense of peacefulness. If it came in a package, I know the one I’d choose. If it came in a place, I know the place I’d pick. If it came in a lifestyle, or set of principles, I know what I’d choose. I’ve seen it. These qualities, as we all wish, ARE embodied in some person we want to get to know, someone who smiles at life and accepts it, right here, right now; not somewhere else, right here; this is it, we find it, for certain - first in ourselves - then, we might have the joy of finding it in someone else. - Mark Kolke
October 2, 2010
When that which is done, is done, there is reason – always – for looking back, but not for being angry because it serves no purpose, there is no ‘returning life for a refund’, no do-over time; my complaint hot-line is not answering. Caring people remind me to forgive myself and move on. Forgiveness is good. There are no ruins or regret debris piled up – no falling off its edge, this world is not flat, or fair, or easy – nor is it any tougher than we, ourselves, make it. Feeling good or bad is choice. I choose good. - Mark Kolke
October 1, 2010
I’m one part insensitive, one part oblivious, one part hopeless romantic, one part cad, one part brilliant, one part idiot – and one part male. One part son, one part father. One part friend, one part lover. One part romantic, one part rogue. One part contented, one part restless. One part happy, one part sad. - Mark Kolke
September 30, 2010
Thoughts, time lines, truth and untruth, caused grief for me and others; I don’t know clear answers, so, it’s hard to offer simple ones, for anyone. When did I know it would no longer work – and when did I know something new would? Things happen to be the way they happen to be. I believe we resist acceptance of reality, drawn easily back to how we wish it had been, and illusions that go with that. Waking up, to reality, is not about getting up; it’s about getting it - realizing things are the way things are, that we are the way we are. - Mark Kolke
September 29, 2010
If, one day, I wake, in the middle of the day or middle of night – to have figured it all out – then the glory will be in that day, when finally, at last, it will all make sense to me. I’ll die happy one day, if I understand love. Many things I know, I clearly get it, but love – both lost and found – eludes my full understanding. I’ll keep working on it by day, and in the middle of the night. - Mark Kolke
September 28, 2010
Making changes doesn’t change us much - cannot change impact someone had on us - just as moving on is not about forgetting, but about taking care of ourselves, preserving ourselves for the next challenge. We all are born once. Die once. Live once. Good grief! Exactly. Once, I never knew you. Then, I knew you. Now, and always, I know you. I’ll never be the same. Once. Is all it takes. - Mark Kolke
September 27, 2010
Conversation, more than anything else, is lubrication between the moving parts of life, smoothly silken or roughly abrasive – spiked with vinegar or maple syrup, or both. Conversation is saying what needs to be said while withholding what ought not be said; it is the cause of causes, of clear vision and sometimes even breaks the shell that puts understanding out on the table. – Mark Kolke
September 26, 2010
Some of the best things in life are the ones we find when we aren’t looking for anything at all; out of the blue, they come our way – sometimes they show up on our path, sometimes they seek us out and invite us to consider another path, sometimes they point us to some new discovery inside ourselves, or teach us something new to try, experience or explore – Mark Kolke
September 25, 2010
Believe it! ..race off a cliff, emotionally, to see where your next adventure will take you; embrace it, thirst for it, make it happen. Trust me, leaping alone is great, even greater if you have someone’s hand to hold while you do it - trusting you are in good hands, the best hands, your self. So, reach around behind, grab a cheek with each hand – you now hold your future in the palms of your own hands, the ultimate tush-gab. Grab, lift, push-off, leap off that cliff, test your wings … you can fly wherever you want, from there to here and back again, just by wishing it so. - Mark Kolke
September 24, 2010
It only matters that I feel the belly knot loosen, that I hear the whisper. Awareness, being self-aware, with high regard to our surroundings, to the needs of others; when these golden moments – the kind worth treasuring, arrive - I can’t help but wonder, for those who believe in the concept, what it is like when angels visit; does it involve the rustling of wings, do you know they are here, can you find them? - Mark Kolke
September 23, 2010
Surgery scars, evidence something got fixed; long life leaves these on us. Other scars, from other causes, reflect life lived; cuts, burns or surgeon’s trail, heat break and heart ache – they leave scars just the same – revealing pain, regret, resignation or ‘oops’. Each time we venture, to something new; we might crash, or burn – or be consumed by glory blazes of joy. Indelible impression left, like trail to follow – surface scar for everyone to see or, more often, internal, deep, meaningful. These leave us forever changed. - Mark Kolke
September 22, 2010
The game of life, the one we all play, will end one day – but shouldn’t, first, before we resign ourselves to anything; shouldn’t we give life another shot, another shot in the arm, another effort, another bold step .. or two? Where’s the harm? Imagine the benefit? - Mark Kolke
September 21, 2010
I can’t fix actions retroactively my rationalizing a more convenient view – I can only commit to do a better job today. Failure to be pure, correct or proper – my error – reflects on others connected with my actions – on actions I don’t, for the most part, find myself regretting. - Mark Kolke
September 20, 2010
In a clear place or in the fog right here, are you ready to travel over the horizon, venture down new paths - too foggy to see where you are going, unable to see past headlight range while traveling much faster than that – venturing into the unknown, feeling safely confident in your steering ability, thrilled to see what is coming on the next straight away, after some sharp turns and up a rise . . . ? - Mark Kolke
September 19, 2010
The truth is not a statement, or timing, or vantage point – illumination comes slowly, both harshly at times and beautifully at others. Sunday morning light, streaming in a window, is one of those times. Time to listen, soft music; read paper, sip coffee, eat bagel. There is quiet, here, now, quiet that is somehow quieter than the usual quiet. Not just Sunday morning quiet. - Mark Kolke
September 18, 2010
Like deer-facing-headlights, I’ve had those experiences (maybe you have too) when, in grip of trouble; feeling trapped by choices or circumstance, we cannot just see that best chances are ones we’ve not yet taken, best risks are ones we avoided, best fears are ones we confront, best years are ahead, best days are counted-down ones . . - Mark Kolke
September 17, 2010
Truth has consequences, and so does misleading ourselves. Ruminations give rise to questions that go deep to the root of understanding myself; sometimes people hold up a mirror for me to examine my past harshly, sometimes someone observes things and issues around which I show passion and industry. Or, both of those in a single day as I did yesterday. I can’t help but be affected by it. - Mark Kolke
September 16, 2010
Grasping meaning from things is sometimes a struggle; sometimes it hits like lumber to the forehead. I think the words that fit best for me, today, are these from Carl Jung: ‘The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.’ - Mark Kolke
September 15, 2010
Have you ever pondered "why and what if" questions, ones that always resonate in your mind, and wonder, ‘is this the end of something brief or just the beginning of something large?’, ultimate life altering spectacle, or not, to weakly utter ‘I am confused’? Life best lived, without second guessing, includes those potential spirit crippling questions – ‘What if ….?’ , or ‘if only … ?’ Missed opportunities, always a mystery, what if?, was there a cosmic reason why/why not?. Mind candy, what might have happened - had I done this or that - if message missed, meeting missed, walk not taken, signs not seen? - Mark Kolke
September 14, 2010
But moving toward something new, moving onward, moving forward, moving change, moving away from the recent past to the immediate future - well, it is quite simply, very moving. Each step, followed by another step, each day, followed by another day - and soon, you will be here – I keep telling myself that; settling in will be fine … - Mark Kolke
September 13, 2010
Awakening to our passions in life happens to some people while, sadly, too many never find theirs at all. I think that kind of awakening to our potentiality is one of the most important things we do. It matters little when it happens, early in life, late in the day or in the middle of the night. What matters is that we figure it out, that we be affected by it. - Mark Kolke
September 12, 2010
Lessons, having stumbled from defeat to defeat come hard, come clear slowly sometimes – but they come. Lessons for living a life, for finding a wife, for being joyous . . . have eluded me too long; it’s time to get it different, get it more right, get it better. But I wonder, on days when feelings land belly-heavy, if there is a ‘finding it’ in my future; with so much hope, with so much wish, so much desire, so much energy – can it be found? - Mark Kolke
September 11, 2010
On the door of memory, when we knock; if there’s no answer, what then? Of those things which ‘might have been’ different, which ‘might have sent us off in very different directions’, when we wrote or called, when we connected – or not, did we miss an opportunity, or dodge a bullet? Most often, and this is the only way I can view it, we move forward to better things; when one door is closed, a wedge of wonder opens somewhere. - Mark Kolke
September 10, 2010
Soon, it will be time, to start new, start fresh – this month, the crispness of its air, the brightness of its promise. The sun comes out again. When it comes out; tomorrow, next week and next month – it comes out for all of us …. it’s brightness to shine on new joys in new ways that will shatter old grief. Soon, it will be time. - Mark Kolke
September 9, 2010
If I stand still, sit still, pause too long, wait for life to arrive I’ll be sitting here, years from now having not moved. When I stand up, step forward, move along – however slow, however cold or dark it might be in the beginning, I feel the load I carry seems lighter, the distance to a goal seems shorter, and the clock/calendar tick slower – slo mo – seeing life unfold, one precious day after day after day. - Mark Kolke
September 8, 2010
Is life too complicated, or is it just made up of so many/too many elements of simplicity for us to understand it? Maybe we look too hard at ‘the big WHOLE picture’, not enough at the little elements. Less that it is a problem to be solved, it is a journey to be taken; a journey – to meet each challenge, meet each person or milestone - one of learning, and of recognition, that life is fine, OK, and not in need of fixing. It’s perfect already. There is no straight line or easy path. No one has been able to fix that, it just is. Life. Not for fixing, never was. Life is for tasting. - Mark Kolke
September 7, 2010
I was wondering – of connections we make with each other - about the chance meeting (or one we missed), note out of the ether (or one we missed); I smile at recognition that we make such tiny choices, they take us on paths where we connect with people - or not - there is something incredibly interesting about randomness of that when, but for keystroke, ill-chosen word, nuance of timing or mood - some people cross paths with us. Others move on, un-noticed, ships at night, their journeys never become known to us, or ours to them. - Mark Kolke
September 6, 2010
Simplicity, love, emotion – a longing for, a vision for, what might one day be . . . this I seek. In that, maybe I/WE stand a chance at understanding what this convoluted strange wonderful sorrow and joy filled life is for. - Mark Kolke
September 5, 2010
We want answers, explanations, methods, techniques, strategies - a sure thing! Answers lurk; where to find them? Surely, thousands – millions maybe – felt same, experienced same, solved same issues/problems. Haven’t they? I should just look it up, Google it. What to look up: solutions for life? for love? Wisdom of the ages, or of a philosopher I seek, or should I consult the face in my mirror? The universe doesn’t speak. It doesn’t call out. When our own found answers please us, it feels comfortable to think so. When not, it feels comfortable to blame ‘the universe’, as if we had no role. - Mark Kolke
September 4, 2010
When it is coldest, darkest, toughest - seeing good in a difficult day - is especially hard when we wake alone at darkness’s bottom. Looking up from despairing stress of life’s hard moments, through challenges this day will bring , it seems easiest to shrink from hit, hide out under warm covers. But avoidance never moves us down any path. - Mark Kolke
September 3, 2010
If we were rabbits, we’d be content being rabbits, would we not? Why is it man (and woman) aren’t content being ourselves; and if we tried, is that possible? As we examine ourselves and those we care about, and those we don’t; is it the lives or the living of them we focus upon? - Mark Kolke
September 2, 2010
Thinking is hard. Observing is not about looking. It is about understanding what we see. To think costs nothing. In cash terms, yes . . it costs nothing. In real terms, it is a commitment to invest time, to figure things out – to learn from what we know to understand what we don’t know. We are blind to it; but there is gravity in everything, even those things which float away; gravity keeps us here. We are blind to it; we don’t see softness and wisdom in every hard thing. - Mark Kolke
September 1, 2010
Lift something heavy, give away something light; celebrate their mass, embrace their weight, then feel how it feels. It’s not about heft and gravity – but with a firm softness, light enough to float away, yet strong enough to capture strong winds when they blow. Can’t we see the gravity of it? Nothing need fall for it to bring us down to earth – it keeps us grounded, even when we feel like we are floating. - Mark Kolke
August 31, 2010
Life is adventure and feast, life is experience and scars, life is fairy tale. We write the story, we act it out, we live it; and in our mind, as we review the scars that show and all the ones that don’t, we live parts of it again. Some with a tear, most with a smile. We are all scarred – life leaves trails on us; whether sleep wrinkles or age wrinkles crease our faces each morning, there are others the mirror doesn’t detect, but they are there all the same. - Mark Kolke
August 30, 2010
Even broken clocks are right twice a day; newspaper publishers should be so lucky as their demise becomes clearer each week. Haze behind eyeballs, waking weekday, night closed for business now – begin again the process of life known as Monday morning - when morning papers always arrive early but have nothing in them worth energy it takes to turn their page collage of inflated weekend wire service stories I’ve read already . . . Monday morning, it’s own unique package of qualities and shortcomings - no other morning of any day of any week feels like this – ever. How this happened, I’m not sure. Mark Kolke
August 29, 2010
Two things happen, in my experience, a lot of the time when communication doesn’t work; we’ve sent a message which is not clear and then we get concerned when someone doesn’t get it. The converse, when someone is sending us a message, do we get it? This is not some trick in communication-speak, it is real, every day, it is what we do when we have – as the late Strother Martin delivered so classically in the movie Cool Hand Luke: ‘what we’ve got here, is a failure to communicate’. Clearly, it is clear, is it not? If so, why do we get it wrong, why do we fail to understand one another? Or, is the message clear but the acceptance unwilling? - Mark Kolke
August 28, 2010
Each day, some piece of tomorrow’s dreams arrives in my today jar. Each night, everything in the today jar that’s not used up or burnt up, moves into the yesterday jar. In the yesterday jar, the freshest memories and most recent events sit on top – they’ve not settled yet, not adapted to their new storage place, not yet covered and surrounded by more things, words, experiences, …. there will be more, soon, to comfort the rough parts, the sore parts, the paining parts. That’s the way these things work. - Mark Kolke
August 27, 2010
Everyone needs space, to surface gradually; on their own, in their own way - to deal with lots that might need doing, time to decide the 5 w’s. Tomorrow, closer to dreams being realized; another day further from a present and a past that will be put behind (regular rear-view mirror glances for perspective). Not forgot, just behind.- Mark Kolke
August 26, 2010
Days inch, by, one by one, step, another step, imagination wanders to what it might be like without ‘this play’ in my life. I cannot imagine the darkness of the canyon I would know without this. This is my life now. It changed. I was watching, with eyes wide open. It changed, in front of me while I was watching. I’m no observer. I’m the writer, producer, director, stage manager … and I’m standing out there on the stage, alone, but knowing there will be other players to grace the stage because I write the play. But do we ever write our own play? Do we need co-authors? Could we create anything this good alone, without them? Ideas need work, collaboration, need to be chopped and sliced, then run through the grinder . . - Mark Kolke
August 25, 2010
Finding equilibrium; not going back to the last ‘feeling it’ place, but to some new place, where the earth feels steady under my feet, where big waves won’t drag me out to sea but rather, they overcome me with serenity, peace and reciprocity. I'm OK with that. - Mark Kolke
August 24, 2010
Though I know I’ve done it my share of times, I cannot, today, imagine compromising to achieve a dream; navigating, yes, but not compromising. - Mark Kolke
August 23, 2010
Looking at my life, pages turn slowly, this impossible improbability on one hand, predictable calm on opposite page; story line is mine, we make it up as the story moves along – what will happen next, which characters slide through this story, which ones stay for life? Scene changes don’t change integral nature of characters, but, like the weather, are always subject to change at the whim of the writers. - Mark Kolke
August 22, 2010
Pages flip, faster now, time flies faster and further - I remind myself, one step, one day at a time . . . and in the fullness of time, all will unfold as it should and most likely as I want it to be if I believe in the strength of my resolve. Support of friends and family who may not always understand or support what I do, but they love me anyway. Weekend family gathering underscore, unlike strangers, that we accept, understand and tolerate one another in ways we’d never spare for a stranger. - Mark Kolke
August 21, 2010
Silent contradictions of mankind cannot be solved – we can only work out some of those for ourselves; sometimes, when I am wise or incalculably fortunate, I write something of value to someone – and sometimes, many times, the lone someone is me. - Mark Kolke
August 20, 2010
Explaining ‘why’ of it. Looking at life, imagining future – turning each page to what happens next; gobbling this thriller, racing through speed-learning characters, to follow them experiencing twists and leaping obstacles, someone hurts, someone laughs, someone coughs in the 2nd row, a chair shuffles at the back – we are all looking for mind-affecting experience through this suspension of the suspension of our disbelief to arrive at a real place, a real feeling, there we stand, at the happy spot, THE END. - Mark Kolke
August 19, 2010
Not everything in life is ever exactly the way I want it, especially right now; I have hope this illogical, improbable irrational train of thought will be an on-time arrival; every day wrestling with facts, determinations of things I cannot control (so often they look like ones I can), get in the way, clearly seeing ones I can change is fuzzier late in the day. Overnight always brings fresh words to describe the un-describable; but words can’t describe what eyes feel, what my ears can see. If knees can jerk or a heart can feel, why can’t my fingertips believe, they’ll touch my future, my dream, my love of life? - Mark Kolke
August 18, 2010
Please, do this for me. Every day when morning arrives, like some FedEx package handed over by a delivery guy - it brings a new day, open carefully, but rip it open it quickly – like a child on Christmas morning. Rip open each day, tear off wrapping, reveal all you - especially that new plaything, check it out thoroughly, turn it over, examine it all, see where the batteries go, how the parts fit . . . - Mark Kolke
August 17, 2010
Is it possible to miss something so much – something you’ve never had? I ask myself that every day - and yet, every day, the dreams and the energy come back to me, as though they’ve never left . . still there, so close, but so out of reach. - Mark Kolke
August 16, 2010
When we hold something in the palms of our hands that looks familiar – because we’ve had one before, or heard about it or read about it – we might tend to just start using it or playing with it, with the assumption it is like the others. OR …. Or we can see new experience in it; this one might be different. It might work differently than the last one. This one might make different sounds, have new or improved operational features, be longer or wider, look different from behind or present differently when plugged in, hooked up or when its switch is flipped – then expect to be surprised. - Mark Kolke
August 15, 2010
Gifts, are not given in packages or their wrapping – it’s not about the shopping or the shipping, because the best gifts are given in the heart, received in the spirit of the giving act. They come out of the ether somehow, perhaps they are material; they’ve been runt through the register, wrapped and delivered – but the reason these items of commerce become important to us, is because someone gave them to us, and that is where the meaning lives. Then, they are received with the sharing spirit poets intend . . . - Mark Kolke
August 14, 2010
If, every day, we treat the arrival of the day as a new creation, inject it with the creativity to make some element of it worth hanging on a museum wall one day, is that not worthy? I fear that too many people fail to create a 2nd masterpiece because they don’t think they’ve created the 1st one. For argument’s sake, just think of your best day ever – that’s your masterpiece, your epic poem, your delicious sonnet, your play, your novel. If you’ve done it once, can’t you do it again. I know, if you repeat your best day it will be just a copy, but ‘a copy of your best day’ is a good place to start …. then add a twist or two and it’s a new masterpiece. - Mark Kolke
August 13, 2010
Plucked myself from the trash, more than once; I’ve spread out the pieces and taped it back together; each time, so I think, getting it better, getting it right .. this time. Starting fresh, starting over, starting new – the starting and looking forward is the easy part; looking over a shoulder to see what is not done, what was done half-heartedly, what was messed up . . or never fully committed to – cannot be undone, un-started or erased. It must be confronted. Not today. Not every day. But someday. I have been broke and broken in many ways, but, I think, most of the repairs have taken – at least well enough to get me to the next repair shop, the next step, the next day . . . Mark Kolke
August 12, 2010
Without tomorrow, without dreams of tomorrow, thoughts of tomorrow - I am nothing interesting today, or any day. Without tomorrow’s promise – energy today has no purpose, dreams no canvas to spill themselves upon. Tomorrow – might come tomorrow, or months from now; when it does it will last for decades. I thirst, for tomorrow. I hunger, for tomorrow. Tomorrow needs me, and I need tomorrow. - Mark Kolke
August 11, 2010
When we feel thirst, or pain, or joy, or anxiety, or relief – our bodies and brains attend to that one thing, often with great dispatch. There is no need to ‘examine whole lives’ to fix one thing, to meet one need. We simply go to the cupboard, select the correct remedy and treat ourselves to relief from it. Simple, right? So this logic would seem, to put all wrongs write .. OK, I’m playing with words a bit. My point, is that some things have simple answers. Probably far more of them than we tend to believe. Problem, simple solution. Problem, simple solution. And so on. For hunger? Food. For thirst? Water. Easy fixes. - Mark Kolke
August 10, 2010
It hardly seems worth rooting ourselves up, pulling ourselves from a comfortable place, an easy path or a warm bed. But, if there is a known destination, some clearly defined goal, a well described safe feeling place – then we can do it. Moving from point A to point B, when we are confident point B is so much better, like greener grass in the next pasture – then moving, getting up, lifting out of the chair, seems like an easy thing to do. The inspiration and motivation come from already tasting the result in our mind. - Mark Kolke
August 9, 2010
Sometimes we re-trace familiar steps, the familiarity so comfortable we don’t realize it is our own path we are traveling, over, and over, and over again. Some things don’t change. Others change completely. That’s the way these things work. Roles change, we change, life changes us – mends us – sets us free to change some more, live more, do more . . - Mark Kolke
August 8, 2010
I am smitten by life and eagerly await the future. I don’t fear it, I want to taste it. That is not everyone’s cup of tea. For people I don’t know, that’s fine, my critics can sit on their own sidelines. For people I care about, who care about me, this brings with it conflict between my behavior, work, ambitions and ideals with those I care about. They have their own ideas about what they want, how they want their life to go – that part I understand. The other part, the ‘how they view my life’, how they see me running my life – this brings complexities for which specialists might be required. These are complex matters, or simple ones, depending on which side of my eyeballs you are on. - Mark Kolke
August 7, 2010
Everything that happened in your life so far, got you right where you are. If unsure, look in the mirror and you’ll find yourself, like me, on a strangely crooked path that took from birth to today. Many curves and sharp turns – so why, in what kind of twisted logic, might anyone expect the future portion of this path would not be littered with crossroads, curves and sharp turns that will be completely unexpected, explosive, catching us by surprise (gasp!), thrilled, hurt, joyed, frightened, enlightened, anticipatory, thirsty, hungry – why not? … if these things, emotions and direction changes are going to happen anyway (if in doubt, re-trace your own path, again, and report back to the mirror) why not embrace them, rather than fear them? - Mark Kolke
August 6, 2010
I do not see a life of predictable or conventional ahead. Never have. This, to some, might be scary in its uncertainty. I find its uncertainty exciting, like sitting seat’s edge, anticipating something grand with kid-like wide-saucer eyes. I believe my best is ahead of me. Best work, best ideas, best times, best of life. - Mark Kolke
August 5, 2010
I write often about dreams (mine), mostly in terms of rationalizing that ‘impossible dreams’ can become ‘real’ which might be some brave new world reality, or simply ‘what comes next’ in life. Everything I’ve done so far in life got me here. To here. Right here. - Mark Kolke
August 4, 2010
I CAN CHANGE the past (my view of it at least) with a wink and keystrokes, so why not change my present, or future, just as easily? I did. I do. I am. I will, again, today. And tomorrow. And a year from now. The world has its arms open, waiting to greet me, every day. It does, for all of us, if we are open for business. - Mark Kolke
August 3, 2010
Where was my eff-ing future hiding? That doesn’t matter. Now it is here, it is part of me every day. It has been a short time since we've begun to know one another. "Before" seems long ago. You are my future, not my past. You are all I want, all I ever wanted, I just didn’t know that before. - Mark Kolke
August 2, 2010
Where I point, or how hard I push, when I leave, when I arrive at some new place – is that when things change - or do they start (or have they started already) changing the moment thoughts first connects in my brain? Knowing the truth, or knowing truth – bold and absurd statements – they drive too much of our thinking if we avoid examining ‘why’ we do the things we do, or which ones we don’t. - Mark Kolke
August 1, 2010
Getting sober was my life saving moment. No one else needs to see it that way. I need to see it that way. That keeps me sober. That keeps me sane. That keeps me wanting to live. That keeps me wanting, yes – wanting, to face my problems every day. Which is not to say I tackle all my challenges head-on, directly, clearly or with wisdom. All it means is that – tackling a problem, or avoiding it all together, I do that sober. - Mark Kolke
July 31, 2010
A poor choice, not recognized or acted upon, never turns into a good choice. That’s not bad timing, but reminder poor choices don’t magically turn into great choices. Good choices are good choices. Poor choices are poor choices. Of course, they all seem like good choices at the time we make them. When a good choice, recognized at a magical moment, can be turned into a great choice. That’s timing. - Mark Kolke
July 30, 2010
Wise saying or provocative words - no substitute for feelings held deeply - but expression of feelings is so difficult; and I’ve been asking why. Miguel de Cervantes, so long ago, wisely put words in Don Quixote’s mouth: “I know who I am and who I may be, if I choose.” It is that simple, but it never feels simple. - Mark Kolke
July 29, 2010
I imagine everyone wrestles with some unfathomable combination - of understanding and misunderstanding. Not every day. Some days, to make sense of it is easy. Other days, it is excruciating. Looking back, I don’t remember anything I hold precious being the product of easy choices, easy steps or easy anything. Surely, I’m not alone. - Mark Kolke
July 28, 2010
Observations help me along my path; my own, and observations of others. The path deserves the best of me, the best of my ideas, the best of my energy, the best of my effort. I’d rather see things as they are, and myself as I am; I don’t want the easy path simply because its easy any more than I want a difficult one just for proof I can do it. - Mark Kolke
July 27, 2010
On my way to my destination, I can’t wait; I just can’t wait . . . for the results come from action, not from waiting. The great question, is what happens next? Easy to decide if it is handed to us, but life is uncharted territory. No matter how clear we are on the path though the environment in which we function every day, what happens next could never be accurately predicted. Nor perfectly planned. The most important ‘next thing’ in our lives could be something that happens in just a moment – today, tomorrow, or a month ago, or a month from now. - Mark Kolke
July 26, 2010
Actions, lots of actions, produce the results we seek and the path we find. Big actions, giant plans and monster results are so often, I think, the product of tiny steps, of innocent little actions that change everything. Joseph Campbell go it right when he said: ‘We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.’ - Mark Kolke
July 25, 2010
Running life’s race, or running a marathon, is not about running toward something or away from some place – it is about testing self to stretch far, work hard, overcome obstacles, working though difficulties – and coming out the other side stronger, clearer, more resolved than ever with faith in self and confidence to take on anything the world might have for us. – Mark Kolke
July 24, 2010
Everywhere I look, I see reasonable people living reasonable lives – I like to see their contentment, I respect their comfort – but it is not my path to walk; reason should, in my view, be an incidental by-product rather than a pre-qualification for joy in life and love of this world and all it contains. Reason is for setting aside, and my appetite should follow, satisfied by everything and resting not – eating for fuel, digesting inspiration, living for the joy of living, chasing the illusive beyond and far from my grasp. My goal, my dream, is to live an unreasonable life, an un-ordinary life, a spectacle of fulfillment and exhaustion, to arrive one day, at the end of my race and die with nothing left of me to be used up. I am convinced, that’s the way these things work. - Mark Kolke
July 23, 2010
What we give each other, that matters most I think, is hope. Whether that is hope for ourselves, for others or for us all – hope is connected to a smile. A smile is connected to life’s pleasures large and small. Life’s pleasures are not necessarily a reason for living, but those pleasures keep us warm at night, give us reason to reach out, to reach up, to stretch, to try, to change, to do, to say, to move mountains or to simply walk down a street in freedom. - Mark Kolke
July 22, 2010
At this time in my quest for things I want to accomplish, knowing there is huge risk of failure in everything, I best set my sights high, very high. There is truth in Michelangelo’s words: “The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.” Put better, golfer Peter Scott said: “I’ve always believed the greater danger is not aiming too high, but too low, settling for a bogey rather than shooting an eagle.” In life, golf and dreaming – there is danger everywhere, but surely there is less danger in thinking big, dreaming great, hoping for the best in people – and lending a hand whether it is asked for or not. - Mark Kolke
July 21, 2010
All I want, all I need - is too large a package to be found in 1 spot on 1 day; all I want is as wide as my eyes and as big as my belly, my appetite knows no bounds. All I need is simplicity, breath, nourishment and time. I believe that: there is goodness in reaching, there is value in stretching, there is no pot of gold but every rainbow inspires a chase of it. - Mark Kolke
July 20, 2010
Tug, pull, drag, load – the lift, trajectory, takeoff, landing – an engineering problem to be sure, but I’m no engineer. I wrestle, what to do, how to do it . . . but the answer is in me. Digging to find it, I wrestle. I dig. It’s there, I know it. - Mark Kolke
July 19, 2010
Things come from somewhere. Ideas start. Connections happen. But where does inspiration come from, what tap spills creativity, which pipe carries ideas, which trough delivers love, which bin stores compassion – and what about fears and obstacles, where do they come from, where are they stored? - Mark Kolke
July 18, 2010
If I want to feel worth being here, if I want my life to have value, this is no time to sit on my hands or the sidelines. There are new flavors to taste and comfortable assumptions to plow under. The rest of my life can be a leap off this cliff over here, just waiting for my leap. - Mark Kolke
July 17, 2010
Giving up a dream . . not done in a moment, is not done as a decision, it happens slowly over time, erosion of time – in futility it falls away, falls apart, falls behind so many other things. Harder than most other things is consciously giving up on a dream . . - Mark Kolke
July 16, 2010
The rest of my life is not set, not planned, not ordained, not predictable and not likely to be dull. The course of the rest of life could read like the text of some retirement community brochure, a page-turner-racy novel, or it can be a creation of chances taken, risks tackled, joys felt, tragedies averted and heart-racing blood-pumping tree-shaking dynamic attitude on steroids. - Mark Kolke
July 15, 2010
Sometimes a dream stays alive, an idea sticks to the wall against which it is flung, a project moves from beginning to middle, no idea where it will end in sight, no need to know – just trust gut feelings, know that instincts are good, intuitively guided, trust . . . - Mark Kolke
July 14, 2010
Being born is a no-brainer, we just show up. Death is the dust-jacket, on the back cover, of life’s book. Between those covers, between our first day and our last - really juicy stuff, those pages of mystery, intrigue, drama, daring-do, fantasy, passion, rage, victory and loss; that, my friends, is where middle age lives. - Mark Kolke
July 13, 2010
Things I hold dearest shifted; once it was all about things and the pursuit of things, but in time maturity and life taught me that experiences and people mattered more, or at least equally. As life left its mark on Mark, that changed too, experiences still mattered, people mattered more and relationships took over as most important of all. - Mark Kolke
July 12, 2010
Most things, hard things, require hard work, stamina, good luck . . . and even then, chances of success are slim. In my life, I don’t expect quick or easy results, I don’t expect to get out alive, I don’t expect a fanfare – but I expect a smile, my own, looking back in the mirror, and it is saying ‘I did it’ , - Mark Kolke
July 11, 2010
We can be better for the world because we tried to be, be better for ourselves because we simply look at who we are with a smile on our face, acknowledging that we can live and be successful in a world where we don’t have everything figured out yet .. - Mark Kolke
July 10, 2010
I’ve been trying to describe it. It doesn’t fit in a short phrase or collection of syllables, but it needs to be said. I think this does it: To be free to live, love, work, play, team, organize, conspire and act in such a way to exhaust ourselves in the service of ourselves, of each other, of our fellow man, our family, our community, our country and our world - is this not what we want? Happiness – life, liberty and the pursuit of it – these fundamental tenets, are what I want. Doesn’t everyone? - Mark Kolke
July 9, 2010
The easy path is not easy, it’s just a path. The tough path is not a path, it is just tough. The balance between tough and easy, is the choice of how we grip each day, issue, problem or person in it. I know that if my attitude is ‘this is going to be easy’ it has a better chance of being that, and if my attitude is ‘this is going to be impossible’, then it likely will be. - Mark Kolke
July 8, 2010
We notice something was said, or we see something, or we stop like a deer in the headlights mesmerized by the moment. It might be a frozen handshake, the look in someone’s eyes, it might be something someone did, or said, or a chance meeting that sent us away with a spring in our step or a smile in our heart. I’ve had my share, perhaps more than my share of those. I see them clearly, looking back. I used to only see the ones from many years ago, the pivotal moment noticed in reflection looking back when I say ‘ah-ha’, that was the moment things changed. - Mark Kolke
July 7, 2010
I’ve been wondering, how good it is, how good it can be. How good? I believe that each day we advance our clock another twenty-four hours, we are given one more chance to advance our life . .. or to waste the twenty-four hours. This chance arrives every morning. What more important choice can we make in life, than about how we spend it? - Mark Kolke
July 6, 2010
Ask yourself: ‘this thing I am thinking about, issue I can’t get out of my head or problem I am trying to solve . . is it roadblock I should go over or around; or, is it part of my path, showing me the way in my life? - Mark Kolke
July 5, 2010
I struggle, or it seems so often, to break free from convention, to experiment with what my mind – with the creative side of me – to see what it can do. I work at it, but not hard enough, I try to make sense of it but so often it feels like I don’t try hard enough – because it only hurts a little. Shouldn’t it hurt a lot? Shouldn’t I be bent, twisted, miss-shaped and spread on the floor like a spilled bucket of slop? I am awake to many things, for many reasons, for a purpose – notwithstanding the early hour – but have no idea if the purpose is to help someone else, or to help me. Perhaps both. - Mark Kolke
July 4, 2010
I believe the phenomenon so often (incorrectly in my view) labeled ‘mid-life crisis’ – this realization nothing is in our control, of life so fleeting, fragile, juicy sweet moments to be grabbed, savored and drunk down with so much joy because any day – just as easily today as any – might be our last chance to have that perfect cheese sandwich, perfect drive down country road, perfect moment of deep embrace with life (or someone), perfect gaze into eyes of a stranger, perfectly timed call from an old friend. - Mark Kolke
July 3, 2010
I don’t believe in bad-luck or bad-karma explanations. I continue to try, as much as I can, to make things work out as I desire. Fear of failure or disappointment, always a risk, is far down my list. Fear of having not had what I want, need and desire because I was afraid to grab it when I have the chance is far greater motivator. - Mark Kolke
July 2, 2010
Who we are, is who we are. We can stifle, shelve, obscure, hide or try a make-over on who we are – but deep down, we are who we are. Everything in our lives, every action, can do one of two things. It can mask who we are, or showcase who we are. Pick one. - Mark Kolke
July 1, 2010
I’m a believer, more than ever, that there is nothing wrong with any of us – the perfection we are born with doesn’t go away, it is simply obscured by bad advice, strange experiences and mistakes along our learning path. For many, I think it is hiding, waiting to uncovered – for others, it is often in plain sight but not seen. - Mark Kolke
June 30, 2010
Every hour, every day, I manage a mix of 'must do', 'want to do' and 'just do it'. I set and re-set priorities. I don't wake up in some spectacular place with my dreams come true. But, wouldn't that be nice. I trust an ability to figure it out; I trust that experiencing life and working on challenges in a proven process will prevail, I trust my ability to keep the dream alive until I can get all those things figured out which must be figured out. - Mark Kolke
June 29, 2010
The solutions I need; simple, clear, elegant ones - will likely elude me if I try to do it all alone, without help, without collaborators, without research, without many horses on a team. I can try to do it alone, but what are my chances of complete success? I'd rather do it successfully, which indicates doing it alone might not be my best choice. - Mark Kolke
June 28, 2010
Results, and people, show up when they show up, triggering events happen when they happen. When we least expect, often involving people we don’t know or ones we least expect it from, life changes a little, or a lot. Long process, or a heartbeat. No way to know. - Mark Kolke
June 27, 2010
Had the world been different, everything would be different, but this world is the way it is, so the only way things can be different is if I (we, you, all of us) make them different. We are all creatures of two key elements – who we are destined to be and where we are. Neither are pre-ordained or required, but we have a tendency to think the way we were taught to think, expect what we were taught to expect and live where and how we were taught to do it. We can inter-change names of cities or occupations to give the illusion of change, but real departures from what we were programmed to do in life is far more daunting a task, rewards unlikely, risks high and the future an unknown. - Mark Kolke
June 26, 2010
Looking back, my path has many turning points, I so often missed them when they happened – recognizing them only in hindsight. In recent years, I think, I hope, I’ve been getting better at recognizing them sooner. By that, I don’t mean ‘at the moment they happen’, but sooner rather than later. - Mark Kolke
June 25, 2010
Explorers of the past set sail, some with belief/fear there was an edge of the world, that they’d fall off. They didn’t know where they were going, but by good golly, they were going. They feared less the uncertainty of where they were going than the certainty of staying where they were. They dared mix dreams, fears and actions in one cauldron. They set sail anyway. - Mark Kolke
June 24, 2010
I learned a long time ago, that sometimes we just need to trust a process, to have faith that proven methods are proven methods – that while struggling through information, ideas and principles there will emerge a mantra, a plan, a path and a reason. I believe everyone, even if sitting still claiming to be happy about where they are, is either running away from something or toward something. Why? Because that’s the way these things work. - Mark Kolke
June 23 , 2010
When that happens, who will you be? Will you be friend, will you warm to it – or dismiss it as too risky, too improbable, too illogical, too … hard to make work? Too hard is not a term in my dictionary. Too soon, too far, too much are not barriers to great relationships or great ideas … and they are so much better than too little, too late, too bad, too inconvenient, too much water under the bridge or too much trouble. - Mark Kolke
June 22, 2010
Building walls, perimeters, fences – to protect us, to keep us safe, to keep bad things (and people) out is as likely to produce safety and happiness as it is to generate rich friendship; while safety is important, being circumspect is wise, being protective seems safe . - Mark Kolke
June 21, 2010
Knowing things for certain – improbable, impossible, not fitting any logic – knowing special things come from most innocuous beginnings, tiniest of moments when someone asks us to be a friend . . . Mark Kolke
June 20, 2010
But without barriers in our minds, without barriers in our actions, we chance the world. Without barriers we can reach out to others and they to us. Without walls, or the perception of them, there are few boundaries we can’t cross, few chasms we can’t bridge, few ideas we can’t make better by teaming up with someone as collaborator, co-conspirator, lover or friend. Deep in us, these needs override safety rules, get through red-tape and rules, leap the protocol divide and bring complete strangers together to become complete friends. - Mark Kolke
June 19, 2010
No matter how hard we try, wish, hope, beg or strategize – people don’t change much, they don’t change ‘the way we want/wish for’ very often and rarely change on a timetable that fits our needs. For the most part, the just DON’T CHANGE, period. - Mark Kolke
June 18 , 2010
Living with, or without, disappointment is a fictional creation of the mind; that is like living life only on two sidelines without venturing out on the field. - Mark Kolke
June 17, 2010
In my experience, changes of heart, changes of thinking, changes of plans and changes of direction are normal processes that evolve. They emerge from thoughtful reflection and reaction to circumstances – qualities we admire in most people we know and respect on its face. - Mark Kolke
June 16, 2010
The importance of the carefully crafted message, its impact, its heat, its cold, its rhythm and power – so correctly sent, to be so accurately received – would seem to be the essence of clear communication. - Mark Kolke
June 15, 2010
There are opportunities in every day for adventure, venture, exploring, teaching, learning, trying, failing, trying again – always is. If our focus, if my focus, is that the adventure can happen only once day’s tasks are done, there will be little room for adventuring and exploring. If, on the other hand, I make room for fresh ideas, for being open to new adventures – to make it a part of my everyday thinking - then there will always be room for those opportunities, and there will always be incomplete work at the end of the day – always is. - Mark Kolke
June 14, 2010
The lesson, if there is one I’ve learned, is that shared vision is just that – shared vision, as opposed to a vision shared. I can share my vision, my views, my dreams but that doesn’t mean someone’s understanding of mine in some way makes them theirs. - Mark Kolke
June 13, 2010
Life’s juiciest fruit, writ on lined pages, scrawled in margin notes where the gritty grotty powerful stuff lands. I write alone, in quiet mostly. Lately, I’ve been using soothing music for polishing part-finished work; it seems to round rough edges better, but for raw material, give me quiet, give me alone, give me darkness, give me .. a moment. Moments, like dialogue, fall from somewhere – gesture, accidental connection, moment of consideration; cause pause, for a moment, to smile. Or laugh. Or yell. Or cry. Or fly into some fit of rage or tangent of fantasy angst, or into action. Joy in life isn’t brought in big packages, delivered by UPS, take months, weeks or full days; in my view, in my experience, in my life, it comes in these moments… - Mark Kolke
June 12, 2010
Take a minute, or an hour; capture the events of that slice of your day … now hit send. How bizarre, or how normal, would that be? Would everyone understand, know, feel, appreciate – what you are experiencing? Each day is a puzzle for us to muddle through . . often without all the pieces. If we are waiting anyway, we might as well make up some fun things to do while we wait! - Mark Kolke
June 11, 2010
Light-on-feet, moments, clouds move revealing rainbows, someone soft stays that way or someone hard lightens up; savory moments. mouthful of unending deliciousness . . great in the moment, better in memory, a galaxy of beauty in unlived imagination. Let me explain it to you sometime – just give me a moment. – Mark Kolke
June 10, 2010
Starting anything new, like moving a large stationery object, requires time and energy devoted to it (which means time and energy TAKEN from other things, taken from the 80%); like moving a big rock up a steep incline, the biggest part is deciding that ‘today is the day’ to try moving the rock at all. - Mark Kolke
June 9, 2010
Some things never change, but that doesn’t stop us from trying . . . the sameness/saneness of every day is like a blanket to comfort us from the chaos of every day, the randomness of impact from whatever happens next, real or imagined, intended or bizarrely random or a message sent in error – is that not the essence of chaos? - Mark Kolke
June 8, 2010
Good morning – welcome to you, today, welcome, you ravishing ravaging chamber of joys and horrors, please me, treat me, tickle me and punish me - just reach out and grab me; I so WANT to be taken – all the way to tomorrow, then taken again, then had again, and again, and again. - Mark Kolke
June 7, 2010
Just as each piece I write takes shape – thought by thought, paragraph upon paragraph, page after page, there is a putting together that happens with the ideas, the ones whose time has arrived, when it is time to know. I write to capture something; a moment of my life, or a slice of someone else’s day, a peak at a conversation’s animation or taking some page out of context, pulling a paragraph out of nowhere. Still, there is a sense that all is real, feelings are genuine, that they represent the way things are, or at least the way things were . . - Mark Kolke
June 6, 2010
I’ve slipped, fallen or been distracted by something unexpected - many times; sometimes crossing a road when it happened. Since I’ve not died in the process, does that mean I was careful, clever or just statistically not due yet – my number not yet up? Each time I cross a road, a real one or one of those tough to cross freeways in my head, I’ll look each way, then sprint across – and I’ll try to keep watching for traffic coming at me from both sides while I do that. I don’t always know what to do next, don’t always have the skill – knowing how to do it – but lack of knowledge has never stopped me from doing it. - Mark Kolke
June 5, 2010
Risk comes at us every day of our lives; this week headlines indicate some virus is blitzing us, next month or year it will be some threat-du-jour that captures air time on CNN and our attention span. The choice of life’s pace, stroll or flat-out run, is 9/10ths what we are programmed to do and 1/10th what we resolve to do; that conflict between choice to choose vis-à-vis doing what comes naturally(or routinely) proves our decision making ability and our willingness to confront risk on a new level. Managing risk, living with risk, and being afraid are three different things. Thinking should be routine. Being scared should not. – Mark Kolke
June 4, 2010
No need to ask for directions, I’m here. No need to ask for directions, I’m not lost. On the right road, no requirement to be there by sunset or to take one route, or another, no need to follow anyone, nobody’s expectations but my own, no actions but my own, no solutions but my own. - Mark Kolke
June 3, 2010
Fools gold looks like gold but is not; goal setting make us fools (me anyway) because so many start out looking like gold but are not realistic at all; sorting true from false from barely true from partly false numbs me sometimes or maybe its just that early morning chill in the air. As I focus, focus, focus . . and re-focus where my energy is invested, I find an examination of motives is helpful. - Mark Kolke
June 2, 2010
Some days become all about ‘something’, not because it is important or should take priority over many pressing matters, but because that ‘something’ has within it the power to make mice of men, turn solid resolve to mush and diminish courage to the childish behavior of a blithering idiot. No, I am not talking about pandemics, nuclear war or famine. I am not talking about torture or cardiac arrest but rather something that can really ruin your day. While many days delight, some are full of dread. In many things I am smart, but – like most people – I have areas of my life that could only be described as blunders (blunder, polite word for complete idiot). My irrationality surfaces on days that could only be described as ‘dentist day’. - Mark Kolke
June 1, 2010
Clients and friends are far more patient than I am. Family and strangers cut me far more slack that I do. That’s true for all of us. ALL of us. Every day. Sometimes that is hard to remember, but it is. - Mark Kolke
May 31, 2010
In some respects Maui has been, for me, like a sultry dangerous mistress one might keep secret – in love with her, sneaking off to meet her whenever you can, touching her softly until the next time I have to leave her. Returning again, after months, a year, or years – with the strong perfect belief that no one else has taken her away, that she’s still waiting, her arms open to welcome me home, her sweetness ready to love me still, and again. - Mark Kolke
May 30, 2010
But, the obvious is rarely obvious. Things clear to others often float right by without notice given or required in return – the just do. I don’t take things for granted as much as I often fail to stop long enough to realize something needs attention. - Mark Kolke
May 29, 2010
We have all been hurt and we have all cried. Each one of us knows how it feels to love someone dearly. No matter what our views are, we all love to laugh. Regardless of how much or how little money we have, our hearts pump blood through our bodies in the same way. With all this in common, it is clear we are each individual members of the same family. We are human. - Mark Kolke
May 28, 2010
We have all been hurt and we have all cried. Each one of us knows how it feels to love someone dearly. No matter what our views are, we all love to laugh. Regardless of how much or how little money we have, our hearts pump blood through our bodies in the same way. With all this in common, it is clear we are each individual members of the same family. We are human. - Mark Kolke
May 27, 2010
Truth, and I know this. When things are good, we are never as good as we think we are in that moment. And, more importantly, when things are bad, we are never as bad as we think we are. I could likely be jailed or tossed in the loonie-bin for my thoughts some days, but those are just thoughts, tricks my mind plays on me. - Mark Kolke
May 26, 2010
My mind is open to thoughts dropping by . . is yours? Each morning we make a grand entrance on the stage called morning – when lights come on, everyone can see us, see all of us . . warts and all, whether we mount the stage or not. Out there on the playing field – in the space between my ears, where the contest takes place - the stadium if overflowing noise, the world is my critic, or my fan; the world is my teacher or my student; the world waits for me, and for you, but it won’t any more or less for any of us ... - Mark Kolke
May 25, 2010
We sometimes see only differences as some folks cling to ideas we don’t believe, or act in ways we try not to act. We see how practical someone is and wonder how we can be from the same gene pool - as if we think we are a different species sometimes. In our personal families as well is the human family, we really are the same. - Mark Kolke
May 24, 2010
Life, each day of it, is the mess we make of it while we are trying to make sense of it. I’m going to do great things with mine – I’ll work and play and cook turkey; I’ll write short things and long things and pay bills too, I’ll open drawers and doors, I’ll look out windows, I’ll look inside. I’ll look all around. - Mark Kolke
May 23, 2010
At pivotal points in our existence, these people/experiences/opportunities show up – unexpected, not necessarily welcomed or appreciated at the time for their magnitude or potential. Still, they go on to shape our lives, build relationships, open new avenues for friendships, enterprise or mind expansion. Sounds lofty. It is. Like a slow lumbering lag putt over a rise; downhill from here, turn will be more gentle, slope less steep, slippery, landing softly - through a trough and downhill, a double-breaker where directional change, curvature of the earth and wind-speed serve to quicken the heart rate as we make, or miss, laugh or curse … No ball’s plunk at cup bottom could ever match the value of an afternoon with a phenomenal friend, or of starting a great chapter in our own book – in our imaginations or, sometimes, in reality. - Mark Kolke
May 22, 2010
Happiness is not found in some pot at the end, nor is it the rainbow – but in a life where almost everything we do is completely insignificant in any grand scheme of things, where do we find it? Surely there are forces at work in the world, as there are in each of us, that determine things. But what are they, really, and what things do they determine? Is it found on our regular path, or on some departure from the norm. A departure, implying a change of direction, or a trip away on some plane to somewhere. Are you going somewhere today, or just staying put? - Mark Kolke
May 21, 2010
This day, this one, is better than all – I mean ALL – of the ones that have gone before. It might not look that way from where you are sitting, so shift your position in that easy chair, bend your neck and stretch your mind to see it . . there it is … get up and go after it, for it won’t come to you . . - Mark Kolke
May 20, 2010
Sometimes, and I hope I see this as starkly in myself as I do in others, the insensitive ill-thought and ill-considered expressions of reaction of strong opinions stated, demented or otherwise (the opinion or the reaction), reveals two key things; the first, the outpouring of reaction to something unfairly inflicted and, the second, the growth that happens in that nanosecond, as that person puts their feeling out in the air, one that so richly and urgently needed to be aired and for the lucky people who get to see and hear that outpouring for the first time. - Mark Kolke
May 19, 2010
The thickness of our skin – or anyone’s – is not a measure of strength or weakness, but more likely a measure of what other people are tossing at them. Who then, are we – tosser of barbs or catcher of javelins? I think the person who tosses a tooth-pick like jab often enough inflicts as much if not more than a lunge with a spear. At least, with a spear, you can see it coming and react. Alternatively, the tiny shots and behaviors we tolerate in those around us can be far more damaging than we might imagine. - Mark Kolke
May 18, 2010
Life is like a campfire – not parts of it, but the whole thing – when spent time, burnt fuel, wasted energy and brain cells have scant memories of bold effort and fairy-tale imagining, if only for a short while, like a roman candle burning, like a rocket ship, like an all night campfire that gets hot and stays hot long after the first big flames die down - and in the morning the hot embers are a bed of coals - just kick them or poke them with a stick and they glow bright red again; but left alone, fire dies, cold and rain extinguish its remains, i vanishes into dust, as if it had never burned bright at all. - Mark Kolke
May 17, 2010
A funny thing, about memories of what we've never done, is that they are crystal clear in the mind, as if they'd actually happened .. - Mark Kolke
May 16, 2010
If I knew I could not fail, I think I’d try more, live more, do more, go more, play more, smile more, love more – do lots of other ‘mores’. So far I’ve mastered the ‘eat more’, work more and find I’m making progress on ‘golf more’. Coming soon ‘write more’, ‘read more’ and visit Maui more. Am I (or you) prepared for consequences of actions, or in-actions, ready to dig deeply to find gut-turning mind altering future changing moments of our mindnumbing routine - to let desire take the stage, take control, take over; if only for a short while, are we prepared for the ‘mores’ that will bring? - Mark Kolke
May 15, 2010
Present circumstances – we all have them – vary so widely from day to day, person to person, there are no pure ‘one phrase fits all’ answer to joys or dilemmas. There is this glimmer …. a special glimmer of hope. For some that might be a walk on a victory stage, for some it might be a day when their back doesn’t hurt (that’s me today), for some it might be a couple of hours - relaxed respite from life that plays like a bad movie running over, and over - for someone else it might be as simple as fresh cream for their coffee. - Mark Kolke
May 14, 2010
The irony, of moving closer to understanding as we move along the downhill slope of life is lost on me. I don’t get this dichotomy – when we are young, strong, full of P and vinegar and full of energy is when we ought to be smart, wise and clever – thereby reserving naïveté and sweet smiles for our reclining years. - Mark Kolke
May 13, 2010
Present circumstances – we all have them – vary so widely from day to day, person to person, there are no pure ‘one phrase fits all’ answer to joys or dilemmas. There is this glimmer …. a special glimmer of hope. For some that might be a walk on a victory stage, for some it might be a day when their back doesn’t hurt (that’s me today), for some it might be a couple of hours - relaxed respite from life that plays like a bad movie running over, and over - for someone else it might be as simple as fresh cream for their coffee. - Mark Kolke
May 12, 2010
When ideas arrive it starts with something or someone totally unrelated to the idea, but there is a start point - trigger of some kind. It could be a strange phone call, an innocent handshake or some strange piece in a newspaper. I am thrilled with today, unafraid of tomorrow - the future is the place for everything that hasn’t happened yet. We can welcome it, all that it brings and all the experiences and people involved, with open arms . . or not. - Mark Kolke
May 11, 2010
Do you look for something new, exhilarating or for a lesson in each new uncertainty? Or do you look away? I believe we find that which we did not seek, not by seeking but my seizing upon what comes our way. I have found something I was looking for when I wasn’t looking, it grew beautiful and grand when I wasn’t looking – now I want what I’ve found. I’ve looked in many directions - seen dark and bright sides of many lives that touched mine. Some I’ve touched, some I’ve just waved ‘bye - often bored by that which taught me nothing, failed to increase my value or raise my heart rate. - Mark Kolke
May 10, 2010
Things work out the way we imagine they will . . but rarely. They work out the way they work out – the difference, I believe, is determined by how strong our resolve is mitigated by how effectively we address those disconnects between reality and expectations. I can, reasonably, predict my own actions/reactions to so many things, but I am helpless and hopeless at guessing the feelings, actions and behavior of others. As Annie from New Jersey often reminded me, ‘build a bridge and get over it’. - Mark Kolke
May 9, 2010
I’m a quote-hound; there has to be something out there that fits both my mood and my back pain; I found another great one - Herodotus said: ‘The worst pain a man can suffer: to have insight into much and power over nothing.’…… that doesn’t help much with my sore back, but those are words well worth pondering. One that I found gave me a chuckle; William Faulkner said: Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain.’ …… clearly a man who could have my back when it is sore . . . but I know that’s not what he meant. Or do I know? How can we know what someone (you, or me, or Faulkner) means, thinks, feels … unless we have a conversation with them, unless we talk about how we feel, how can anyone else know? And if they don’t share, how can understand them? Some things come along; it is usually not a back but something that hits the brain, the belly or the spirit; we all get a mixed bag of those in every time interval – the challenge is to know which ones to grab onto, dig into ….vis-à-vis ones we should just let roll by; each choice point is a decision about what's written on my next page. - Mark Kolke
May 8, 2010
Working things out – trite phrase – can mean actually doing things, can involve interacting with other live people; or, it can mean working things through in the head … five-inch span between the ears – it helps to have an eraser sometimes. But the best eraser doesn’t make something ‘it was never there’, but it lets us rub-it-out a little so we can say ‘I made a mistake there and I took steps to fix it’… the smudge reminds us of what was and we never ever forget those moments in time when we thought differently, imagined differently, dreamed differently. – Mark Kolke
May 7, 2010
I don’t know if my drivers are the same as anyone else’s – I suspect not. We are all wired a little differently – like snowflakes I think. We all look that same and appear to behave, generally, in a like manner – but when you put us under a microscope we are all uniquely different while being uniquely qualified to look the same and do the same as just about anyone else. - Mark Kolke
May 6, 2010
Figuring things out is complicated – not that a result is the end of anything, but I find that new beginnings start best when I have at least the notion I’ve figured out something, that I’ve put some issue or problem to bed, put something behind me so I can see what it is out in front of me. - Mark Kolke
May 5, 2010
Dreams, by day or night, are the filling in the Oreo, the way we become voyeurs upon our own lives – drifting from fantasy to reality and back again; sometimes it is hard to tell them apart. Better yet, why is it necessary to know? This will not tire, but inspire. This will not delude but enlighten. Even in failure, we open our lives wider …. ahhh. - Mark Kolke
May 4, 2010
That astonishing thing that might emerge one day – a set of words, a phrase or sentence or maybe a paragraph; you know what I mean – the thought that stops you, that phrase you commit to memory because it moves you, that combo of thought/idea/phrases parsed just right, that tastes so good as you say the words out loud, that warms your heart and girds your loins as you read the words silently – THAT, that special something that astonishes me is what I aim for, what I strive to make happen. THAT is why I get up early and stay up late, that is why I stretch my psyche and risk tolerance as well as they day’s hours. THAT is why I cannot stop the magnificent obsession I find in its pursuit. … ahhh. - Mark Kolke
May 3, 2010
I don’t care if anyone agrees. I do care if anyone who reads me, talks to me, meets with me, likes me, hates me etc. - does so because they think about something – which might be something I wrote about or something totally different that was triggered somehow by some word I put ‘right here’ for them to read and think about. - Mark Kolke
May 2, 2010
For me, hopes dashed, plants splashed or thoughts spilled out – it all reaches this imaginary piece of paper on a computer screen where there is no ink, no paper, nothing to fold or hold other than to read. If I do it well, you’ll see what I see – feel what I feel. Some might want what I want, others might dismiss me for a thousand reasons or simply get tired of me, find me boring, trite or self-indulgent. So what if I am? I am who am (to quote Popeye), neither content nor complacent with ‘where I am’ but very happy with who I am. - Mark Kolke
May 1, 2010
I’ve been asked ‘why are you competitive?’ and ‘why do you love competition so much?’ Competition is life, life is a competition and I am competitive – no more, or less, than anyone else especially, but every day that I compete for life, I cheat death, every day I struggle to thrive I live a little longer, a little better. - Mark Kolke
April 30, 2010
My memory is getting older but my hopes are young. My friends are getting older – and so am I – but those memories are not seen today – but through a slightly warped lens of youth, I see them in my mind, in the time they happened. Sometimes I see them as I wish that they might have been. - Mark Kolke
April 29, 2010
One of the things I like best about golf, is that we can score well on any given day, but the golf course is neither beaten or defeated. If I get a birdie or a par the course does not wince, the golf hole does not fret at having a bad day or a bad game. It just is. - Mark Kolke
April 28, 2010
Ruts in a road, or an alley, or in our lives are made from traveling the same path, same direction, over and over, without fighting for change, altering route or choosing a different vehicle. Age, ruts, expectations, some perception of what is appropriate, can limit us like shackles or a prison. Breaking from expectations (everyone else’s) as well as our own can energize us. Sure, at first it will scare us . . . - Mark Kolke
April 27, 2010
When I think about adventure I don’t equate it with danger, but rather with the unknown … a combo of pleasant surprise, stretching the mind and being ready for anything that might happen. I like this quote from Rabindranath Tagore: “There are two kinds of adventurers: those who go their way truly hoping to find adventure and those who go secretly hoping they won’t.” There is imagination in that – but probably, for some, a measure of insurance that by being adventurous we won’t really break new ground, change our life or the world – that we’ll simply have a feeling as good as if we did (eg: jumping out of an airplane … pretty safe with a parachute, altogether different without). - Mark Kolke
April 26, 2010
If, for experimentation sake, we took 6.5 billion people out of the equation, would the eco-system work better? Would engendered species survive and thrive? Would things be different? And, in the absence of humans, would any of our smaller brained cousins attempt to take over? Would the world go ‘un-managed’ like any business office on a Friday afternoon – just hoping to survive without a major incident till Monday? - Mark Kolke
April 25, 2010
Mind barriers, roadblocks in our psyche … we are afraid to try more, dig deeper, leap higher or cry out for what we want for fear of what others might say or think. Chances are there is only one person whose thoughts or words we care about. Or two or three at most. What would they say? What would they think? What would they do? If they only knew - what we think, what boils and broils and roils inside us. If they only knew. If they only cared. - Mark Kolke
April 24, 2010
If you step on my pride it hurts - so I’ll hide that where you can’t step there, if you smudge my joy it will hurt so I won’t show that – and if you kick the shins of my passions I’ll buckle to the ground; it then seems best to cover up pride, stifle joy and camouflage passions. – Mark Kolke
April 23, 2010
What we can do, I suppose, is for each of us to reach out to touch someone in some way – because we can never willingly do harm to someone we’ve touched or who has touched us. – Mark Kolke
April 22, 2010
Life, mine, so far, shorter than expected and longer than it might have been had I chosen other paths, pursuits or have come out on the wrong side of the risk equation is incomplete and wanting the next chapter … and the chapter after that. I’m not done. Some days, like today, I think I’ve scarcely begun. - Mark Kolke
April 21, 2010
I believe that I (or we) see a path … or an adventure or an excitement – not because of its certainty, but because of its uncertainty. The very notion of adventure implies being ‘adventurous’ … not in some ‘run away from home way’ but in an uninhibited stretching as far as we can stretch. - Mark Kolke
April 20, 2010
The message of Viktor Frankl’s ‘Man’s Search For Meaning’ has been a guidepost for me for many years, the meaning of all things explained so simply for me. But, I wonder if I’ve let my brain coast on auto-pilot on this issue; c’mon Mark, really, can we reduce life to that single statement of ‘I get to choose how I react to what is happening to me’ ? Meaning, you know, meaning. Meaning - that thing we all live for and cannot live much without - grail of our pursuits, goals, ambitions and drive .... that wrapper and ribbon that holds ego and id together, that cover shortcomings and gently coddles fragile-ness; yes, meaning, security blanket and backbone, the Swiss Army knife of life - many tools in one. - Mark Kolke
April 19, 2010
My Monday morning personal pep self-talk can work just as well on Tuesday; not so much an ‘après-weekend’ requirement as it is an everyday requirement. Why be down, when up feels so much better? Things could be worse than they are, or they could be better – not so much about facts as it is about point of view (perspective) and intent. It is so easy to be disappointed by what we did not do/accomplish than to be thrilled by what we did accomplish, by what we dreamt, by what we thought of . . . - Mark Kolke
April 18, 2010
A mine is something we dig in to find natural riches. Mine is something I have, not something I seek. Who I am is mine, all mine. The choice is yours, and mine. Time for mining, time to dig in. All strength is within us – each of us – there can be no strength without us. My mood is good, tired from yesterday, but otherwise feeling great. - Mark Kolke
April 17, 2010
We try to achieve things, to obtain results, to seek cooperation and agreement from others – but to our surprise there are few things that turn out they way we want, the way we expect of the way we had hoped. Do you remember the little engine that could? We teach that metaphor to our children and then promptly forget its message. Is that because we tried to hard, wished too much . . or not enough? - Mark Kolke
April 16, 2010
So often, things seem impossible. I think that is because we trick ourselves into believing they are not possible. Then, when things don’t work out, we can tell ourselves “see, I told you that wouldn’t work” … and it won’t be too painful either, because we didn’t risk much, didn’t commit much, didn’t sacrifice much, didn’t give our all to it …. and results prove it. – Mark Kolke
April 15, 2010
How can you help anyone, or yourself, deal with loss and death? The obvious ones of ‘time heals’ and ‘give yourself time’ are such cliché crap …. they stick in anyone’s throat more from gag-reflex than from any other form of choking up. Death reminds us how fragile - and precious - our life is, that it could be gone quickly without warning. Understanding, coping and grieving the loss of our expectations is very hard .... because so much of what we expected of life involved that person being alive and in our life. We are reminded that, while we don't want to be alone and while we don't want to be dependant on someone else for our own happiness, that the reality is 'we are entwined'.... which makes loss so hard to accept. In my experience, talking about it helps, but still, the stark reality is that he’s gone and he won’t be back. - Mark Kolke
April 14, 2010
We are all casting directors in our own play. We choose the cast of characters, a mix of friends and strangers, and relatives and neighbors. We can never know how they will interact with us or each other - but we try, vainly, to manage the process - but the best action, the best memories, the best learning comes from unscripted moments, unexpected plot twists. Life is a page turner. Life is a thriller. Life ..... beginning and end punctuated with a meaning in its middle …. - Mark Kolke
April 13, 2010
I believe that, if it is our intent to be happy, we will be happy. If it is our intent to be unhappy, then that is what we will be. If we have unhappy circumstances, which is best; to be stuck, to cope or to change what we can? - Mark Kolke
April 12, 2010
Instead of thinking about, piling up or listing all the things you need to do, places you need to be and things everyone expects . . . try this: if this was your last day of life, would you be doing that thing? Is that task or project or idea what you would be working on if, unfinished, it vanished tomorrow? Be safe. Be productive. Be effective. Be something …. Each day these thoughts come at us; from tapes that play in our heads, or images that glare back at us in a mirror . . . or warm wishes from friends and colleagues. Who would not wish for these things? So many things to think about, so many things to do, so many things to BE. To be. That’s it . .that’s the problem. We are over BE-ing ourselves (or perhaps overBEaring). What makes Monday such a grueling day is the drive to BE somewhere, BE something . . to BE what we BElieve is expected of us. - Mark Kolke
April 11, 2010
I fear – constantly – that life is like an eye-chart and I’m not seeing the important line because I am out of focus; writing is like that, in its irrational focus and concentration on some thing without knowing if it is the smartest thing or the dumbest or second smartest – there is no way to know; it is just the thing I am focused on right now. What am I missing? I don’t know, but if I sleep too much or work too little I might miss the most important things of all . . . I can’t miss that. - Mark Kolke
April 10, 2010
Possibility never disappoints – reality does. - Mark Kolke
April 9, 2010
Making sense of my whole life would require centuries of thought (perhaps reserved for future lives if reincarnation is what happens) – for now I’ll spend a day doing some writing that feels like work, some work for which the only joy is the writing portion . . and I’ll squeeze some time, some energy, for the thoughts that shoot out over the horizon, where thoughts put wild desires into pleasure pools where things that makes sense, where lovers play and every flower blooms, where time doesn’t stand still (but if it could, that would be the place), it is likely many months until my next Maui trip, but today, my mind is already there. - Mark Kolke
April 8, 2010
The fire . . that’s it; fire. Not just heat, but flame, intensity. It could be our passion for a cause, a hobby, a child, a father, a book or a dream .. the fire not because it or they are on fire, but because you are – we are – and if we are dimming, we must re-light ourselves. Setbacks, losses and the storms of life seem to be on a mission of extinguishing fire . . if we let them. Young or old, what seems to make such a huge difference is whether or not the fire has gone out of people. I came across these words – don’t know the source – ‘a child is not a vase to be filled but a fire to be lit’ …. If your fire is out, you are out. When you think the fire is out… there is likely a hot ember in there somewhere. All it takes is some gentle stoking, breathing some hot air gently to the hot spot …. and flames can reignite. – Mark Kolke
April 7, 2010
Whether our excitement is worn on sleeves or obscured in the Zen of meticulous routines, there is something impossible to capture in words. It explains the unexplained wide grin, and goose-flesh s and clever plans, reflected in the rapid tail-wagging excitement of a dog on the verge of peeing itself in joy. It doesn’t take a lot to get me excited; it could be a warm cinnamon bun or a sunrise, a favorite beach or a juicy peach, a smile or a call from an old friend, a problem solved, deal done, a sweet long straight drive or a putt that drops. I can get excited by ice-cream, and Jello too, as much now as when I was a kid with about two seconds to think about it. - Mark Kolke
April 6, 2010
Some people stumble and never get up, some stumble and defiantly struggle on while others still, shine beyond imagination – driven by some internal drive of overcompensation for their stumbling or questing in search for understanding and deep meaning from tragedy. But as we wish ourselves a ‘good morning’ or ‘have a great day’ we should never forget that the destination for all of us is the same, an end – timely or not. All we can do, all we should do, is make the journey one we can say was OURS. Not chosen by anyone else, not lived on any particular side of the tracks, not driven by greed or selflessness, not driven by zeal or apology, not motivated by anything other than what we chose to do. - Mark Kolke
April 5, 2010
Adventuring – in the mind, in the wild bush or racing through tight turns … thirsting for the nervous fluid of life …. is, in theory at least, a reason to live with purpose and zeal. But life is so often more nightmare than dream for ordinary people we never meet, folks we never know and scarcely understand. Every now and then, perhaps an example or two for each generation, bridge the understanding gap for us. – Mark Kolke
April 4, 2010
YOU and I start new things – every time we have a fresh thought, mull an idea or start a project – by pointing our bodies and minds in some direction worth following along; sometimes we stall, stop or retreat. Sometimes not. Just as easily we can maneuver through the muddle, make those obstacles a slalom course … and really step on the gas to make them go. – Mark Kolke
April 3, 2010
I am not talking about leaping a deep crevice or literally jumping off a cliff, but leaping off the cliff in a psychological way. What do we have to lose if we try? If we don’t? The answer, either way, is life. That’s what we have to lose. I don’t want to lose my life, but much more than that - I fear not having one to lose. That’s a fear that should motivate all of us to be more alive, more vital . . . . Life is a death defying act we take for granted too much. I think we should be bolder, braver and take risks we’ve not taken before. What is holding you back? What are you afraid of? If the flu might kill you anyway, what do you have to lose? - Mark Kolke
April 2, 2010
Sitting atop filing cabinet, just a few feet away, one treasures I’ve not given up or given away – greeting card/post card I bought; inscribed with my favorite Jack Kerouac quote: “Whether our high points or lowest ones show up today, there is no defense from it – even the most upbeat person with everything going for them has moments of quiet terror, deterioration into dread and despair.” But, if we are alive – and if you are reading this, then you are – we all have the same time, we are on time, all the time because we have time. I have 24 hours, so do you. Lets be calm less often, lets be roman candles more often. We have enough time for both. I have already outlived Kerouac by 11 years … Awww! - Mark Kolke
April 1, 2010
Ideas flow over an un-rushed breakfast that just don’t happen on a busy Tuesday or Thursday, energy generated from a headline that inspires, advertisement for travel, articles on why life is different somewhere else or how to get rich quick. Thoughts, delicious thoughts, I could eat heaps and heaps and never gain an ounce. - Mark Kolke
March 31, 2010
Along my road I’ve passed by, or through, many experiences – extraordinary experiences that made me different. Amazingly, or maybe it isn’t so amazing at all, those moments when paths crossed, when stories were told or impact was made, were not special days. They were ordinary days when moments, like any other, just ticked by. - Mark Kolke
March 30, 2010
When I put words, or my thoughts, together, I often do things that don’t make sense to others and sometimes they don’t make sense to me . . but I feel a strong need, or maybe it is an urge, to follow through just the same. It is like painting a picture without having a clue what the end result might look like – but having some sense of emotion to be spilled out. I don’t paint – I’ve never painted, but as a writer I believe I know what painting must feel like, particularly abstract painting. Words on my page - often pieces of a jig-saw puzzle or scrambled fridge-magnet poetry – are just ‘there’ but always with the sub-text, ‘some assembly required’. Not paint-by-numbers at all, but free wheeling abstraction distraction attraction to the need to spill something – in my case, powdered toner on paper and pixels on a screen. Paint a page or weave a carpet … let it take you where you need to go; don’t steer, just hang on, watch the scenery, drink in every experience . . . - Mark Kolke
March 29, 2010
What would happen if we all connected with one more person today (not every day, not even every Monday . . but just once, today) would that not make 6.5 billion new friendships? If that works, what about two? I’m just sayin’ …. OK then, if we can contemplate reaching out to a stranger with such mental ease, why can’t we do it with people close to us? Old friends we’ve drifted from, old bruises we’ve not healed, old faithfuls we’ve taken for granted or flames we’ve not been fanning enough? - Mark Kolke
March 28,2010
Where is this road leading? The one I’m on, the path you take - this street, that avenue – or going down some road; so often I write about choices too much and not enough about the path. This path, if it were not a path, would be a policy statement – you know, the ‘big picture underlying philosophical statement’ that has us dreaming large with intent, talking not about how things are but about how they ought to be; then taking steps to make it so. - Mark Kolke
March 27, 2010
There is no perfect balance, says the pessimist. I am in perfect balance says the narcissist. I hope to achieve perfect balance says the optimist. On any given day, anything you can imagine can happen. Read any newspaper any day for proof – plus, there is so much you might never imagine …. is happening to someone. - Mark Kolke
March 26, 2010
Consider this; if we all woke up this morning with a blank page . . and on this page was our life; we could decide everything before we get out of bed. We could choose our age, gender, nationality, marital status, sexual identity; we could choose our form of government or to have no government at all. We could choose family size, we could not only pick our friends, we could pick our relatives. Imagine that, not just a dream or a wish but really, truly – and permanently – changing our reality? - Mark Kolke
March 25, 2010
Pessimist thinks we can’t count on much. Optimist naively counts on too many things. Balance, more than butterfly wings and grasshoppa legs, a state of mind as much as a physical place - where we need to and can count on someone for something. It need not be the whole world but it might mean the whole world. - Mark Kolke
March 24, 2010
If I ditch enough of what is on my plate to free up - say 20 hrs. a week - how would I spend/invest that time? I suspect that time would not gravitate to household chores, reading more, sleeping more or time away from this keyboard. If I cut some waste, if I do that (if I can think about, why not do it, right?), I know I’ll spend it writing and dreaming and chasing some new opportunity and resisting so many (I hope I can) distractions. - Mark Kolke
March 23, 2010
We stretch, but when we retreat we never return to same shape; it is a bit like putting the dirt back in a hole we’ve dug . . it never fits back in the same shape because there is more of it than when we started. We’ve created something more from nothing at all beyond the act of doing what we do. - Mark Kolke
March 22, 2010
In an instant I am on a beach, atop a mountain or looking out a window seat – sun spills onto my thoughts, bathes my body and lets me feel wet sand ooze up between my toes only to be washed off by the next edging wave from a relentless ocean pushing the shore away – then hugging it – then pushing it away again. - Mark Kolke
March 21, 2010
What I care about gets my energy, what I don’t is not unimportant … but it does not get my time, does not get my attention. This is not tolerable for everyone but it is for me. Every person’s world – the one we touch, or the one that touches us – is their own invention; mine is for me and yours is to be created only by you. - Mark Kolke
March 20, 2010
We stretch life to its limits by living and failing, we push our ‘best before’ date way out there every time we dream a little or hope a lot – we extend our tourism from the bus to the brainwave, so that finger tips will press into the ouwwy gooey stickiness of life’s predicament. There is no better life than a messy one, no longer life than one stretched out wide, no truer one than one of expression. - Mark Kolke
March 19, 2010
Most of my adult life I’ve been stepping in puddles as often as I’ve had my foot in my mouth – the miss-steps have brought no more or less pain, no more or less joy than the carefully calculated ‘correct steps’ . . and remembering that is important. I need not look far or long to find many examples of those failures to communicate effectively or errors in judgment. – Mark Kolke
March 18, 2010
Within sub-conscious choices already made, I get to struggle when they conflict with reality, conflict with outcomes I think I want but cannot reconcile without sleep-work on the subject . . . . no nap-call, but realization I need to mull more. Organized is not ‘predictable’, but simply ‘prepared for unpredictable’. I’m prepared. How about you? To live a predictable life is to live a series of predictable days. I predict that won’t happen today and it is my mission to be sure it doesn’t happen this week. I can rest, I can be content. I cannot rest contentedly for very long at all . . . - Mark Kolke
March 17, 2010
Getting a grip, on clubs or on life, is striking balance between holding no too tight or so loosely we risk letting go. In between, there is a sweet balance. It happens when we smile at the sound of a voice, get tickled to meet with people, or thrill to have brunch with our family. - Mark Kolke
March 16, 2010
I’m prepared. How about you? Life, abundantly cliché wrapped, rapt, full of wondering – as if some cute phrase could pretend to define it, to praise it, to explain it and to apologize for it. No phrase is complete – ‘one-size fits all’ vessel - to hold us together or to sail us from catastrophe to catastrophe, from failure to failure, from oops to almost, from don’t give up to don’t even try. Why bother then, if life is so impossible? Why not? Adventure is around every corner. We can approach timidly, retreat at any speed or boldly turn the corner. - Mark Kolke
March 15, 2010
Doing what we are inclined to do, saying what we are inclined to say is not wrong. It is some times ill-timed or insufficiently considered, but it is not wrong. Reminding myself of that, as I have this morning, is healthy. - Mark Kolke
March 14, 2010
Living purposefully, pursuing dreams vigorously (less talk, more action) and letting roadblocks be little speed-bumps as they are meant to be . . my mission, as yet undetermined, has been preparation and journey – no sense of arrival yet – which is a good thing I suppose . . because I have so much yet to learn, and maybe some things to teach as well. - Mark Kolke
March 13, 2010
I think we have a duty, as justification for our existence, to make each day better than the one that we left behind in our sleep – we can act out the one we dreamed about or make it up on the fly, but why would we not want to suck every ounce of living out of every fresh day like it was two scoops in a waffle cone on a hot day. Life wastes away whether we wake or sleep, whether we are actors on its stage or spots in that big audience on the sidelines. Like fruit, it rots if not eaten while fresh. - Mark Kolke
March 12, 2010
I have had the great good fortune getting better at reaching out to people. That often wears me out (but never thin), yet has paid huge dividends in terms of those who reach out to me in some way offering encouragement, support and friendship – sometimes with a word or a story, sometimes with a touch, a hug, an unsteady handshake or subtle gesture. Each, every, valuable moment given to me by someone who took the time - huge gifts - I treasure them. - Mark Kolke
March 11, 2010
Every decision, it seems to me, connects to every other decision. It is hard to imagine that the choice to use a large or small paper clip to hold some papers together connects to anything important in life. At the same time it is impossible to separate that choice from the one of whether those papers should be clipped at all, kept at all or even placed up close to one another. Each innocuous little choice is part of a chain, each connected somehow to the others. - Mark Kolke
March 10, 2010
If every opportunity to say yes, no, not now, not ever or maybe was lined up in a row, could we walk down the line and give a straight answer to each? Would we have the urge to figure it out, move it along . . or the urge to curl up and avoid it all. As if it would change while we were curled up! There seems to be more to this, the matter of context, perspective and desire. What is the context in which the issue or question is put in front of us, from what direction (and set of experiences) are we viewing this . . and what is our desire for an outcome? - Mark Kolke
March 9, 2010
Good thoughts, ideas and plans do not come in an orderly sequence – so why should the day? Having dark for morning is like having breakfast for lunch … a change of pace, not the loss of some race. Looking out at this day. Through it, over it, or around it; delight in the looking for the hidden treasures in hum-drum tasks will unlock secrets - those moments that excite and people who softly touch our lives – each hour counts, every minute counts, every second we spend takes us closer to something . . . - Mark Kolke
March 8, 2010
Life, more behind me than ahead (if measured in clock-hours), risk of chasing ‘bad opportunity’ seems to have grown larger in my mind, though ‘sure thing’ remains elusive as ever, pressure-choosing seems more intense. Less likely to do some larky-thang that requires huge investment of time, energy or funds ….. mostly because I’ve become so protective of the time I spend on all the things I am doing. - Mark Kolke
March 7, 2010
This is my self-indulgent ignorance of all that goes on around me. This is folly. This is today. This is life. It bumps me up, it pushes me down, it drags me along, it boosts me up – so complex I can’t know the cause, the effect or the solution because I can’t define the problem . . other than to know that I have one. But when I look in the rearview mirror I recognize how much time and effort I’ve wasted working on problems that remain problems (are they really problems, or just part of my daily reality?) interspersed with so many moments of ah+ha, oooh, oh-yeah, great!, and aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh , none of which came from solving a problem. None of those wonderful moments came from working on chronic issues or postponed grunt-work, none of them eliminated procrastination or improved the level of angst in my belly. – Mark Kolke
March 6, 2010
I don’t know with any sense of certainty where I am going, I don’t know where the next path might lead or eventually end. I know I’ll be on it, in pursuit of dreams and ideas – some for sharing, some for basking in the glow, some for naught. For today, I am here, not going anywhere . . I’ve made too many promises to others, and not enough to myself; I’ve not performed very well but sense my percentage rate is rising, unsure if that means better performance or simply a math-result from making fewer promises. - Mark Kolke
March 5, 2010
Every time I hear or read sad tales and sorry cases - across town or half-way ‘round the world – I am reminded these are normal every day occurrences. They go un-noticed. We notice only when things touch those we know or the community we are part of …. and then there seems no shortage of worry, lack of anguish or absence of pain. But, all storms end; and then, in calm, we move along. Debris and clean-up rarely look the same as the last time, getting through, getting over, getting on … is our job and life would be empty without our fair share. – Mark Kolke
March 4, 2010
Any day, in my case ‘every day’, plans change. Not as fast as moods can swing, but stuff happens . . . and before we know it, Thursday arrives. Plans change, not because the world changes, but because we change ourselves and when we do that, we change the world. I don’t think it happens any other way. - Mark Kolke
March 3, 2010
The bookends of my day capture too much in between; lots gets done, lots doesn’t …. and sometimes I lose track of what is most important like a car headed the wrong way on a freeway – too busy dodging incoming threats, risks and obstacles to notice the scenery flying by or the next turn I want to take . . . . - Mark Kolke
March 2, 2010
Writing, the ultimate disease – it is like a consuming sickness that takes us daily, not to the bed, but to the keyboard. Writing, the ultimate cure – whatever ails us, it cures all, whatever wounds us – it heals us up. Whatever disease of life befalls our characters, we can always write them out or just ‘right them’ in the next scene, transform them in the next chapter and rehabilitate all that is wrong before the final page of the final chapter that ends, which ends, with THE END. Thoughts are not the canvas, they are my paints, and they cover me which makes me difficult to read until I pour them into word molds and set their type . . . - Mark Kolke
March 1, 2010
I have been questioning my path – and my pace. I’ve not figured it all out but I see I am my own worst roadblock to progress. Mondays seem to be larger than most. I am trying to turn Monday on its ear- handle things differently – and do a little ‘work-shop process’ with myself to better set the stage for my week ahead starting with ‘get prepared on Sunday evening’. Woops . .missed that, I was busy doing other things. Maybe next week. - Mark Kolke
February 28, 2010
For instance, if balancing the clock (work time, sleep time, golf time and play time) adds up to more than 24 hours daily, the solution is so simple …. do what you want to do most and sleep when you run out of energy, rise, repeat, rise, repeat – with a lot less worry about the balancing act problem if the problem is turned around to an opportunity described as ‘I choose my priorities’. - Mark Kolke
February 27, 2010
We probably all think we are understood and appreciated for who we are. Sadly, I think that is often a delusion; we all hope we are understood, hope we are appreciated, but lots of wishing will not change a reality. It is great to be cared for, cared about, to have someone ‘care that we are around’ but it is even better to be understood. Maybe everything begins with hope. And ends without it. Hope, fear and understanding – strange shopping list for some life recipe. I have the hope, I have the fear but understanding eludes me … . - Mark Kolke
February 26, 2010
Life crawls over horizon to greet us each day, a fuzzy vision, far away, unclear and subject to change without notice. The same is true every minute of the day but we occupy a delusion (I do) that we have something to do with it. My time, or yours, limited by things we control and things we don’t have any control over, is all we have. My time is not your time, it’s mine. Mine, all mine. I get to use it, waste it, spend it, invest it. Mine. You get to do the same with yours. Life, simpler than it first appears, each day it repeats itself. Some things stick in our heads, drone on like that silly song that sticks in your head some days, some lift us up just a little higher …. - Mark Kolke
February 25, 2010
An idea whose time has come is never welcomed if it disrupts but it must. The world as we’ve known it and the world as we might see it best are both collective visions, good ideas bundled together – with the problem not being the acceptance of one view, or the other, but the transition is the trouble. Discarding one way of thinking to accept another – however necessary, inevitable or destined it might be is to ideas and brain what ripping live flesh off bones would be like. - Mark Kolke
February 24, 2010
I don’t know what’s next. The phone will ring sometime today; it will be a routine call. The phone will ring sometime today; it will be a fresh question or a new idea. The phone will ring sometime today; it will be a wrong number. Each time the phone rings, we anticipate the nature (and person) of the call will be our most welcome friend . .. or our worst fear . . depending on mood, circumstance or time of day. - Mark Kolke
February 23, 2010
I wonder, when we have moments, those ‘make my whole day’ moments, if the memory disk in our head is suddenly wiped clean of the rest of that day’s happenings – leaving only the high-points, tossing the other less interesting remembrances aside. I don’t remember whole days. Do you? Everyday is the right time - to borrow some time or to steal some moments, to create some outstanding memory moments. - Mark Kolke
February 22, 2010
As I was driving back from the gym one morning the car in front of me suddenly drifting right, then looping back left across three lanes. My fenders were never in jeopardy, but as I wondered whether that dolt driver needed a ticket, a solid rear-ending or a gentle reminder that the path we are on does affect others – I began thinking that things we say or do send messages that cause others to react. Some give us lots of room; in part to avoid collisions, in part to avoid issues colliding altogether. Sometimes wisdom, sometimes folly, but how can we know which is what? As I had those thoughts I wondered how I might look to someone following me from behind. Do I change direction without warning, do I change direction without first looking both ways . . and do I take others into account when I make a turn? - Mark Kolke
February 21, 2010
There is an image I have, in my mind, of the ideal coupling – the ideal relationship whether sealed with marriage or not, but still knowing that we don’t choose or choreograph love. We don’t make it appear because we wish it to and it doesn’t stay because we wish it to. Elusive, like holding mercury in our hand, so often we see examples of folks who, the more they try to grasp hard to hold onto it, the more likely it might be to slip away. Hafiz, the 13th century Sufi poet said (OK, so he said it in ancient Persian and some smart guy translated it): “I can think of no greater devotion than to be shore to your ocean.” Maybe that’s what we need, maybe that’s what we can hope for; that just as water and beach mix, mingle and each move a little with each wave – one does not consume, contain or envelop the other. Each splashes the other, for fleeting moments, repeated so many times with laughter and tears, sometimes burning gasoline and matches – sometimes doused, then burning again . . . . - Mark Kolke
February 20, 2010
One of the best descriptions I’ve ever read of how I see it, the words of Jack Kerouac: “The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!”. - Mark Kolke
February 19, 2010
Friday, comes every seventh, and so often it feels like the arrival of a week-long-holiday, but it can’t. It is, after all, just a day. A single day – a bridge to the weekend, a hinge on the gate between front yard and back, a time to wear life and our week on our sleeve when wearing no sleeves at all is the preferred uniform. The things we hope for, live for, lay awake dreaming of and work hard all week for are here; they live at the end of the week …. when our spears seek targets we aim for, when phones are silent and lightness returns to our step. Cravings for sleep and food, yearnings for delicious treats by day and soft easy nights by night – for carefree lifestyle and effortlessness in all I dream to do …., to be so easily satisfied every day every week - - - Then, poof . . I was awake. - Mark Kolke
February 18, 2010
That’s the way it is, if talking about yesterday, is acceptance of reality; ‘that’s the way it is’ in reference to today allows from for imagination and the influence of our actions and ‘that’s the way it is’ … in regards to the future … is a mix of planning and dreaming about when fantasy meets reality, about defining life as much as about tasting it. - Mark Kolke
February 17, 2010
On reflection I think race running, though I am a walker, is about preparation – fitness for it and training in preparation, lots of tactics and analysis of competitors, consideration of obstacles and analysis of risks – but mostly, I think race running (if you want to win) is about a single minded relentless passion for running, for winning, for being a winner of course and for being a fair and decent competitor. But, above all that plotting and planning, the most important choice is to choose the fight to fight, the race to run. The value and values that are most important are everywhere, but we can’t fight every fight, run every race or right every wrong. We can, however, spend ourselves exhaustively to do the things we are best at to make our world a better place. - Mark Kolke
February 16, 2010
We are all unique – so much so that we are probably more the same than different – in that we do not share fame or notoriety, but we share three things: we are human animals capable of anything we set out to do, we are all experts at being who we are (and at our best when we do without reservation) and we can dream the life we want with the joy coming as much from pursuit of dreams as from observing ourselves living the journey toward them. - Mark Kolke
February 15, 2010
If we are awake and alert we still might miss it. The person walking by, the man or woman crossing our path – someone we speak with, someone to get to know …… or pass by entirely. While we can’t come to know everyone we encounter, my experience has been that the more carefully I pick out passers-by in my life to ‘get to know’ I gather a booty of value that I could not imagine. Not to say that everyone is a gem, but there is such diversity in it, that one cannot avoid being educated or, at least, entertained by it. - Mark Kolke
February 14, 2010
On the path, the one that runs between us and the desires we wish to fulfill stands a divider – a hurdle, an obstacle. It is a divide. It might be only an inch across but there are times, quite illogically, that it seems like a deep gorge, or an ocean, or a galaxy away – impossible to bridge, impossible to keep dreaming …. and so the dream begins to die. Theories of how we reach (or fail to reach) those dreamy goals are many; most of the time we come close and re-set our sights, adjust our goals and move on. Sometimes we fall short, flat and come to a complete exhausted deflated stop nowhere near our goal. The place we end up is ‘where we are’; wherever I go, there I am. Wherever you go, there you are. If we are in the same place, a minute, a long time … or forever, we cannot complain because we are who we are, we are where we are . .and that is where we stay until the next mad driving desire takes us off in some other direction. And the next …. and the next. - Mark Kolke
February 13, 2010
We are all the same. Sure we are. We speak and gesture – intending that to be communication; we date and mate, we parent, we live, we work, we die – and somewhere along the way, in our moments of feeling unique we might actually do something unique. - Mark Kolke
February 12, 2010
I encounter three kinds of people – those very full of themselves, those who struggle to get off the mat every morning and, the largest number, folks between those two polarizations … people who are clearly in neutral. Inwardly, outwardly or both – they are in neutral. Not engaged, not moving in any direction. It is difficult for them to see themselves, but to the rest of us it is obvious who is moving and who is stuck. - Mark Kolke
February 11, 2010
Actions, words and thoughts, often sits right in front of us – an experience there for the taking, no work or words required. We can have them if we want them; we too often think these choice moments, these moments of choice are, in some way or the other, problems unique to us - only us. They are not unique, but they are ours. To those who can dream day or night, the morning is perpetual . . . it is always morning, we are always staring something . . . – Mark Kolke
February 10, 2010
I wake up every day, like you do, as the same person – an unchanged re-charged unaltered version of myself; what could be better? I know myself, so I don’t have to get acquainted, I can start right in. The morning of inspiration – or is that the inspiration of morning? Whatever it is, it is here. - Mark Kolke
February 9, 2010
A mouthful is not a meal, but an appetizing teaser – but is a just a taste. The flavor and texture that tempted my taste buds rests pleasantly in my belly . . Like memorable meals, some people come and go in our lives. Most go. Some take up residence in our lives – and we in theirs – where closeness is calculated not in distance or time but in how much each matters to the other. When day is done lots will be done, much more will be yet to do . . so I’ll continue tomorrow and the day after and the day after . . . - Mark Kolke
February 8, 2010
Every time we add something or someone to our life, priority lists shifts, some things move up the line, some down, some to the illusive center of the target, some land far away from the center of any action . . while some find a niche in some crack along the way, like a seed blown into a sidewalk crack where the chance of survival is poor yet intriguing. - Mark Kolke
February 7, 2010
Pain does not live in isolation nor does it disappear when it sails over some horizon. Pain lives, it seems to last longer than pleasure, but in time, don’t they become companions – the hand and the glove, one fitting the other, resting comfortably, grins and tears, laughter and sadness – welded forever. Pain, not necessarily opposite of pleasure – but clearly different; pain lasts, pain lives, pain resides in deep dark places. Pain, a set of shackles can hold us in place, or it can be fuel that burns, taking us to some new place. - Mark Kolke
February 6, 2010
We can’t tell at the beginning of any interest – in a person or an issue to solve – if it will be a new chapter in a yet unwritten book, a partnering of grand magnitude .. or a simple moment of sweet magic of earth shaking magnitude. Who is to know what comes of that … ? What about those things, what will I do – what should I do, about them when today, full of things I know I’ll do, things I’ll try to get time to do and things I’ve not thought of yet – and things that I’ll react to that haven’t happened yet? - Mark Kolke
February 5, 2010
Life is for making things. And breaking things. For building things up and for tearing things down. But before we start up the bulldozer, we need to walk around in our minds to see what needs to be built there, what needs to be torn up or tossed aside .. But life is more than addition and subtraction, of substituting some new good thing or act or feeling for a contrary one to be shed – there is room for adding without loss required to accompany it. Some times, someone else’s loss becomes our gain because of what we learn from it, our loss might benefit someone else because of what they learn from it, but there is only so much to go around. Life is a zero-sum game, everything stays here on the planet, we just watch it change hands. – Mark Kolke
February 4, 2010
Days go by when I learn nothing, but hopefully those are few; keeping what we learn to ourselves is easy but adds little value to anyone. When I learn something I sometimes wonder if I’ve really learned anything worth teaching, anything worth knowing at all or if I’ve simply cleared some smudges on the windshield of my confusion. - Mark Kolke
February 3, 2010
Every day, whatever the weather those flowers, trees and grass have to survive – they have no choice but to wake, to live and to try hard not to die. Every day, whatever the weather, don’t we have the same obligation, limitation and desires? If this be true, and I believe that it is, why aren’t we all making love instead of war, making plans instead of trouble, making deals, making meals, making up for too much lost time, making time to take the time to say what we feel, act on choices that feed our needs to survive and bloom brilliantly. All other things seem somehow unnecessary. - Mark Kolke
February 2, 2010
I sometimes notice plants and critters being themselves - as if their sole purpose is to teach us something. Maybe it is. If we observed ourselves as having no other purpose to teach something maybe we would learn more from each moment, each stormy night and sunny morning. These flowers and bushes have no ability to run away from danger – they hold their place and tough it out, they have no head full of conflicts to sort out, they just stand their ground and weather the storm; they must have an incredible sense of humor! - Mark Kolke
February 1, 2010
With each element we reveal, we step out of the comfortable shadow into the fear zone – the uncomfortable ‘I’m putting it out there and have no idea what will happen zone’. Those with confidence and those without boundaries venture easily . . those who remain in the shadows are not alone but they surely feel alone and lonely. - Mark Kolke
January 31, 2010
So much bravado lives in a beginning that by the time we get over start-thrills and chills of excitement we are well down some path toward something; while an ending, a completion, or arriving at a destination is why we start things, raison d'être of every cause, every mission is rooted in the beginning. Starting .. a meal without a recipe (recipes are just shopping guide lists anyway, right?) is OK but I need to have a sense of how that result will dance on my tongue and settle in my belly - a day, a week or a sentence requires so little effort, produces such great rewards. - Mark Kolke
January 30, 2010
Starting with a process in mind – a way to move the notion for emotion to motion – means to an end, way to achieve goal - starting anything requires spark, idea, image or mental picture; anyone can start anything, the question is whether or not we can finish what we start . . and soon we have a feast or picnic in our head. - Mark Kolke
January 29, 2010
Patterns, habits, routines – my life is full of them – have their value, they get me through so many things every day that I don’t have to waste time thinking about them – I just do them and somehow time is saved, efficiency is served. I have too many things on the go, too many things started, too many things on the drawing board. Too many? Or, not enough? The right things, the wrong things, who’s to know which ones to toss aside, which ones to rescue from falling off the table, which ones to put in the trash can . . . - Mark Kolke
January 28, 2010
The brain, candy store like, is a place for wandering, licking, tasting - from all day suckers to tasty bits nibble on, challenges to chew. The candy store brain is where fantasy-land lives, next door to the edges of reality; where wishing things can become action thoughts, where imagination leads to doing things - in ways re-capturing the 5 yr. old’s enthusiasm and ‘lack of barriers’ to making life happen. Starting out with ideas of how things are going to go, where they will end up and how it will feel is typical and silly; both are unrealistic ….. but we seem to repeat that anyhow. - Mark Kolke
January 27, 2010
Getting clarity of focus, on just one thing at a time, is hard most days – the phones, the emails, the planned, the un-planned, the expected, the un-expected, the thrills and the spills - hard to not think about the things I can’t stop thinking about. This day is one for thinking and working and doing and thinking some more; it would be so easy to let our minds idle while our bodies play – but that’s a terrible waste of thinking time. - Mark Kolke
January 26, 2010
What if I reverse and mix and toss things around – will my life become a salad of new flavor mixes or chaos – or both? Each new thing, each nuance, each diversion opens to a new expanse, a fresh vista of things to see and angles for seeing them. - Mark Kolke
January 25, 2010
Monday is always held at the beginning of the week; it is always the best time and place to start things; though I would have reservations about buying a car built on a Monday, I cannot imagine buying into an idea that was hatched on a Thursday night or Saturday morning – it is the ‘fresh start and fresh idea’ thinking that makes me stand nine feet tall on Mondays. I may shrink by the end of the week, but not without some flourish along the way. Monday, if we want it to be, is a day for starting things, for fresh ideas, new initiatives and an endless supply of energy – time from breaking through barriers, unblocking, unplugging and unlimited application of ideas to tasks. - Mark Kolke
January 24, 2010
When grass grows (like people) it does not know any boundary, only the cuts of sharp objects trimming it into place, holding it back – but grass wants to grow and wander. My garden of life has trimming, pruning and remedial work to do as well. - Mark Kolke
January 23, 2010
To declare is to talk about something which is great, bold and dynamic – but far short of doing something about it; that, it would seem, is the historical significance … of walking the talk rather than just talking the talk. Many could argue about the direction and speed of the walking, but it has been walking all the same. - Mark Kolke
January 22, 2010
Any day could be our ‘best ever’ or worst, any day could be our wildest adventure or our most somber deflation of our grandest dream; pro or con, good or bad, each of those moments blends ideas and courage . . boldness and softness, from plain facts to seductive ideas and back again….in a heartbeat. - Mark Kolke
January 21, 2010
Nothing is ever the same – the feelings we have today about something are different than yesterday’s or last year’s; not so much about changing our mind as it is about having time plus more information the opportunity to analyze more thoroughly . . because nothing is plain. Everything has texture, nuance and flavor. An opportunity is made of two things; it can be created or it can just appear – to be taken or passed by – too often we think it is one or the other but when we think about it, it is always both, it is only both, all the time every time. - Mark Kolke
January 20, 2010
The day always has room – not just for unexpected events of news or history (they just happen when they happen and we’ll have to get used to that) or when a friend calls or a neighbor stops by, when a roadblock detours our car down a fresh road we’ve not seen. No matter how full we are, we can always make room for Jello. Though we ‘couldn’t eat another bite’ somehow we can. Taking a bite of life – or having life take a bite out of us – is an every day opportunity or limitation, depending on your viewpoint. What are you making room for? Is your day so full you have no room for ‘just one more thing’? So what’s the big deal? Today is just a day. Another full day. No room for more. - Mark Kolke
January 19, 2010
Do we say ‘hey, if you’ll give me help with the solution to my problem, I’ll give you a piece of my action? The truth is that we don’t offer, we don’t ask, we simply struggle with our situation, our problem, our opportunity - assuming we are the best equipped to solve it, assuming we are the first (and only) ones with the particular idea, problem or opportunity. – Mark Kolke
January 18, 2010
Ask any person standing at the roadside of life watching the parade of time marching by without them. They will surely say they are without energy, without motivation or drive to step in, step out or step up. Energy as physics guys tell us, is derived from the transformation of matter … Recent experiences have convinced me that, in people at least, energy is derived from an attitude and viewpoint sandwich – so easy to take a bite when it is offered up, so easy to smile broadly when it comes your way. - Mark Kolke
January 17, 2010
The earth is turning at an incredible speed – but life seems to be a slo-mo activity, each day broken into 24 digestible segments. Life is rushing at us. We should be standing at the front letting the wind of it hit us in the face. - Mark Kolke
January 16, 2010
The opportunity to spice up anything – try something – should never be avoided because every opportunity missed is an opportunity lost, every moment passed by becomes a moment of the past. Each time I have an unpleasant experience repeated I find myself wondering what kind of reminders I need in place to avoid troubles . . to remember life has seasons, it has days and nights, one leads to another like such a busy blur. - Mark Kolke
January 15, 2010
Even when life is long, the speed with which it can come to an end is frighteningly quick and impossible to control – yet too often we all sit back waiting for life to happen to us; I don’t mean taking a break between busy spells, but rather taking a break from being engaged in life. I see it all around …. but hopefully not often when I look in the mirror. - Mark Kolke
January 14, 2010
If change is inevitable, why are we all so resistant to it? Re-inventing …. does not mean creating some new invention that’s never been done before (few of us will be recorded in history as being truly original) but it means being better, not just different. - Mark Kolke
January 13, 2010
Change, as daily news headlines prove, does not always come from what we do or think or how we live our lives for self interest, but in how our actions impact others. Some make the headlines, some win prizes, some achieve martyrdom, some are larger than life and some are smaller than anyone can imagine – but they made some small difference in someone’s life. - Mark Kolke
January 12, 2010
Each day seems to have a little ill-logic in it for me; I think I am getting mellower but my actions often contradict that view. I either need to change my view or change how I describe it - and right now I am not sure which will be harder. When I say it out loud it sounds chaotic, when I write it down it seems to have some form and logic but then I turn it upside down and find it doesn’t look like anything I know – which might mean I am learning some new things. – Mark Kolke
January 11, 2010
Examining things we do – and things we think – to find cause is sometimes like looking for a hay-hued needle in a haystack; trying to determine what is real, what is nearly real and separating it from what is never real ..as the balance of feelings, fears, foibles – when irrational fear triggers irrational behavior of knee jerk reactions is, in many ways, the frustration of dealing with expectations or, more precisely, reconciling the expected with the actual, the forecast with the actual, the real with the not real. - Mark Kolke
January 10, 2010
I believe the world is always ready to give us a surprise – it might come from an email from the outer reaches, an off-hand comment from a dear old friend or an inspiration at 2AM. My point is that anything can be important a year from now – and the fewer things we try, the fewer things will be different. - Mark Kolke
January 9, 2010
When I review things I could easily toss much of it aside as ‘won’t be important next week’ let alone next year, but experience teaches something else – and the reason I am so reluctant to abandon things that aren’t finished yet, aren’t succeeding yet or haven’t crossed the goal line. - Mark Kolke
January 8, 2010
Diversions of activities, or mind, brings life into focus better than any vacation, shock-therapy or all-nighter work marathon; turning a phrase or moment of clarity can only pale when compared to adrenalin rush the body gets (or is it the mind that gets it?) when something dramatic and unexpected happens … . - Mark Kolke
January 7, 2010
I tend, perhaps we all do, toward what is convenient more easily than to what is smartest or innovative or imagination-capturing; I’ve been far more conservative, tame really, in my efforts of innovation than I would like to think. - Mark Kolke
January 6, 2010
Experiments – in life, in business, in science, in anything – challenge comfort level; on one hand there is the anticipation of great exhilaration that arrives like a big push of adrenaline if the experiment works, through to over-the-top feelings when it works fabulously or shock (could be positive or negative) when it is revealed that we totally mis-read or mis-interpreted something. Sometimes let-down, when good idea fails to work, a tendency to push good ideas to the sidelines far too soon, simply because they didn’t work right out of the gate. But what does work instantly? - Mark Kolke
January 5, 2010
What happened, and what does it mean? Every day there are a hundred (at least) potentially pivotal moments – the call, the meeting, the e-mail, the revelation, the thought, a knee-cap banging the corner of the desk moment, the light-bulb-lighting moment, the joyous moment, the despair moment; the high or low, the ‘just a minute’ or the ‘whoa, just a minute!’ interjection. Most days most things fly by most of us, mostly without most of us noticing most of it; most things don’t matter to most of us most of the time. - Mark Kolke
January 4, 2010
I am freshly inspired every day by the same things I was yesterday, a few additions … a few deletions, a few postponements but always wanting something . Most things have huge significance in some way to some thing for someone. An off hand ill considered remark by any of us might send someone over-the-moon or, just as easily, into some form of tailspin. - Mark Kolke
January 3, 2010
Big decisions happen less often than the thousand little decisions we make each day, and so often the little decisions, the tiny choices, the short comments, the one word expletives – or the silent raised eyebrow can have as much long range impact as any big decision. Not because of the magnitude, but because it is a pivot point, a pivotal moment …. - Mark Kolke
January 2, 2010
If we don’t dream, then we could never say ‘dream come true’. If we don’t stretch, we could never say ‘I’ve grown’. If we don’t imagine, we can never have vision. If we don’t look, we won’t see. If we don’t listen, we’ll never hear. If we don’t hear, we’ll never understand. If we don’t understand, we can never imagine another way. If we cannot imagine another way, how could we dream? - Mark Kolke
January 1, 2010
Good guess work, sometimes right, but just as often wrong. Not wrong-headed, not poorly motivated, just wrong. How will something make me feel, how will some event unfold, how will something impact my life? Answering these questions is like looking for an economist who can predict what an economy will do. - Mark Kolke
|