Today might be one of those. As likely, it won’t be, but progress comes slowly most day for most people.
Events, timing, actions of others – each show up, not according to some plan I make, or re-make to reconcile my needs and wants, to re-order the sequence of events that determine how other people make decisions or choose their timing.
There was a time when this kind of angst did not arrive on a monthly or quarterly basis, but I can’t remember when. Maybe it was in my teen years, or earlier.
Somewhere along my way, life’s reality – its measurement of success, or failure, in the eyes of the world coupled somehow with my own eyes viewing my bank balance or my financial statements, my resume – I needed to shift my focus.
We attach terms like net worth, net income and net present value …. we attach them to our psyche as though they measure who we are, what we made of and our value to the world, or to others.
The voices of the world are many – they bombard us with every offer, solicitation and pitch imaginable to get us to taste this, drink that, buy this, use that, invest in them, invest in an idea; but few, if any, advocate investing in ourselves, by ourselves, for ourselves. We live in a world where value attributes to money, worth attributes to things, survival skill attributes to accolades for the successful, or pity for the poor how apparently have none of those.
Necessity, someone said, is the mother of invention.
Lately I’ve been much in need of that invention, but find it lacking.
Is it in this idea, or the next one? Is it in this file, this back-burnered plan, or that one?
Rainy days like this one don’t give rise to sunny thoughts. I could paint a sunflower on my wall, but it would still be rainy cold damp gloomy day.
But – and I think this is an appropriate use of BUT, I can think of no better way to explore what might be, what I might do, what I might see ahead – over the next bump in the road.
Do you get my meaning? Maybe I’m not being clear.
When we don’t know which way to turn, do we ask for directions, or do we just turn . . . and explore that path? When we don’t know what to do, should we just sit like lumps waiting for some divine inspiration, or should we do something? When we don’t know what tomorrow will bring, do we wait, or do we get through today with our focus on today, rather than on tomorrow?
Being lost is a temporary state, or state of mind.
Being a survivor is a fact.
Facts are facts. State of mind is a fluid thing that can ebb, flow, rise or fall – like flood waters, like the ½ filled glass, or a single drop of water falling through the air. On down days – those rainy down days, or rainy down depressing days – I have a tendency to share that argument.
On those days I repeat to myself that my troubles are of my own making, my difficulties are a product of my own procrastination, stubborn pride, repressed angers ..etc …. the list goes on, and on, and on. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Easy to do, so easy – to tell ourselves we aren’t quite as good as the next fellow, we aren’t able to handle a particular challenge to our resolve, to our physical or mental stamina.
We live on a planet where 4 billion or so folks struggle hard for survival every day on which the remaining 2 billion spend our day hand-wringing over why life is so hard. I exaggerate to make the point. If you doubt me, look up statistics on mental health and anti-depressant medications.
I cannot imagine what drives, motivates – or roadblocks you, or anyone, so it is not so strange to wonder about myself. I can’t control the thinking or actions of anyone. I can only manage who I react, respond and choose my own direction.
You too have this small amount of control. One could measure that statistically and argue that, with such limitations, there isn’t much purpose in life, that we are all marginalized in those ways. We all struggle with something. Most of us struggle with many things.
I don’t believe I am the only one.
I have a dear friend who works with homeless people. I hesitate to use the term ‘the homeless’ because that makes them a demographic blob on a chart, rather than individuals – real people – wrestling with a combo of problems most of us could not comprehend, let alone survive.
We live in a world where terms like lost or survivor are simple punch-lines, or reality show titles.
Sometimes, best ideas and motivation come with rain blowing hard, right in my face, dripping offer the tip of my nose.
Mark Kolke
309,884
Comments Received:
SAVE TO MEMORY
Great to run into you at the concert Mark. Not unlike playing hockey, I find that having the right equipment for the event (ear plugs) regardless of the genre of music helps a lot! Taking the crowd noise out works wonders. This was especially important as we were very close to the stage. That proximity provides a new perspective of the musicianship of the individuals performing. As you know, in my world live music is king, and contrary to heavier leanings, I've been a Santana fan since the footage from Woodstock. He is indeed a step above the crowd and distinctive enough to be able to pick his riffs out of the rest. Cheers, RA, Calgary, AB
ON MY BELLY
Congratulations! 10 lbs in two months is fantastic! Portion sizes tend to be my nemesis as well. I usually try to bulk up dinner with extra vegetables. Dinner tastes just as good on a bed of spinach or served over steamed broccoli :), CJ, Beaumont, AB
