BELLY TWITCHES - Wednesday Mar. 9, 2011
today’s Musing written and published from Cranston in south- east Calgary, near the Bow River valley
Morning walk: -5C/22F, almost balmy! . . . light overcast, monster Chinook arch has lifted the clouds and let the warm breeze in, lifting thousands of spirits in the process I suspect; Gusta caught the scent of two dogs a block away and wouldn’t hold back – so I dragged along behind her, stumbling to stay on my feet while she chased what she could never reach . . .
‘It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.’ – Seneca
Problems rarely go un-remembered, though periods of forgetfulness have their place, but most reminders come in window envelope form - monthly statement/notice or belly-twitches when déjà du du moments arrive.
Reminded, yes, but remembering is not re-living, but a cautionary tale. The choice - we can be pushed by our problems, or led by our dreams. I prefer to let dreams lead . . . I will most happily follow.
I was lamenting (OK, I was whining) yesterday about something I can’t do anything about – my daughter Carla gave me some very good Seneca-style advice. Note to self: if there is a next life, make sure to have smart children again, have lots of them, have them younger, and start listening to their advice sooner . . .
People un-resolved, or problems - left unsolved - rarely dissolve themselves; some evaporate, some fall off the table of interest, landing in some gutter crack of our history, never to be looked at again.
Steps to solve problems, first ones or bold ones, rarely produce a solution any better than gutter-waste (see above), but steps they are.
Yesterday’s blunders do not govern today. Or tomorrow.
But, since they are fresh in memory, I may as well use them to whatever advantage I can - to push my agenda, as footnotes or door stops; they can only make me wiser so as to not make same blunders too often again.
It’s easy, really, because most of it is done unconsciously while we sleep whether or not we think we can control it while we are awake. But, some folks, ones who espouse the power of positive thinking – you know the kind ‘rah rah’ types who would chastise me for even speaking or writing such negativity – fail to see the value in this reflection/analysis.
I can’t kick my own butt often enough, hard enough or high enough to solve anything – but I can re-think some, re-start some others.
Steps push others, pull ourselves – inexorably toward some spot, a place in the future. That might be a day, or a year, away – in time; might be next door or half-way around the world in distance (of course it can’t be more than half-way, because it would then be shorter the other way) .
Steps.
Next steps.
Many steps.
I wrote them out, you know – my big problems, my big issues – made a list, taped it to the mirror. I’ll type it out later because, already, I can’t read my writing. In any case, I have estimated the required ingredients in solving each problem (some have a dollar amount, most have a series of tasks, volume of sweat involved) . It looks, from the bottom of the staircase like too many steps, too many steps, too many months/years . . .
But then, put in context, the stairway is long – recent events are but a short run of steps in the mid-point of a very long stairway to somewhere.
Last evening, there it was – on the step about 10:00PM .. my copy of the Sunday New York Times. I unfurled it early this morning, put a slice of rye bread in the toaster and a slice of Moe Kauffman in the CD player – hot coffee, toast with PB, nearly fresh news – breakfast.
~~~
SLEEP THYME SPICE TIME
Deep
sleep
snoring
or just dozing
curled up
not waking
ready
for anything
asleep
easily
in a chair or a couch
on a bed or in a lap
I’ll take a nap
need not be
long or stretched out
but best rest is when
my brain does its best work
while I’m not wakin’
without notice or leave
I fall asleep against a post
or on someone’s sleeve
but now I’m up again
when it’s time to doze
who knows
how spicy
those dreams will be
so
what thyme it is?
~~~
Since starting March 21, 2010, I’ve been writing a poem a day for inclusion with this column - sometimes they are connected to the theme du jour, just as often not. Inspiration comes riding in the window on the breeze .... check out the YEAR OF POETRY: archived poetry
~~~
Mark Kolke
314,300M~~
March 8 - SEEING ANOTHER WAY - Comments Received
Moved here 4 years ago from Thunder Bay. Feels like 40! My heart is silent. I'll move when it points the direction! LOVE your poetry. LOVE the truth you speak. Tells me a lot about you. Beautiful work. Keep it up. I so relate to it. Very refreshing. And rare. I'm tired of ignorance and the superficial, NB, Meadow Lake, SK
Interesting perspective Mark. I am heading to Mexico for a Homes of Hope build on Thursday this week. I suspect that when I really consider all of the stuff which I get bent out of shape over in my world, it will be pretty trivial when I take in context with who we will be helping out. These types of things are good for reality checks, sorting out what the real issues are. Trying to stay focused on what I have control over: my reactions, my willpower, my emotions, me, makes all the difference in the world. Everything else is, well, just everything else, Cheers, RA, Calgary, AB
Thanks for the oxygen today!, DP, Calgary, AB
