I CAN EXPLAIN EVERYTHING
Monday, May 9, 2011
today’s Musing written and published from Cranston in south- east Calgary, near the Bow River valley
Morning walk: 5C/41F, wet grass, cloudy, with little chance of sunshine; Gusta sniffed wet grass, I gazed across the park wondering what was going on in the all the houses today. So many are empty as two-worker-bee families have long ago left for work, while others are populated by parent-child mixes where learning begins . . .
Monday is an action day, not a reaction day; it is a day for bold new strokes on the canvas, a day for work before play, a day for stopping, to say hey, what am I doing?
We have just two purposes in life. It is not, to run our life and to run the world. Those are key elements, but I come at it differently.
You see, I have this theory.
I can explain everything.
I believe I have overwhelming evidence, convincing evidence. I beg your indulgence to consider my argument:
A week ago today, our country had dramatic news – a new government was elected and, around the other side of the world, a despot was de-selected for life; a terrorist was killed in spectacular stealthy fashion. I had nothing to do with either of those, played no part in that success or that demise yet I am connected to it all, just as I am connected to all of you – we share air, we share reasons for being here and there, we are one messy planet but it is our planet.
Within us all, is something we can do to make life better – perhaps only for ourselves and one other, but if we can do that, how about two others, or three others, or four?
I found it interesting, in news coverage – something that seemed laughable at first; with respect to the NDP surge in Canada, the question of whether leader Jack Layton can handle a caucus that is 50% Quebecers, most of whom are so young they don’t know propriety and decorum – whether he can manage such an unruly bunch. I laughed when, during the same newscast, some journalist was speculating - upon the demise of bin Laden - whether a new young crop of jihadist leaders would be able to exercise any semblance of control and organization over their young peers. The world of mature adults remain fearful of youth and youth remain skeptical of their elders, just as each generation before them.
Not to suggest both of these are not serious matters – I am certain they are, but I found it funny, a phenomenon I’ve known all my life, that of an older generation being skeptical of younger people with potentially outrageous ideas is a constant that Albert Einstein, who did his best work before the age of 23, failed to consider when looking for theories that explained everything.
My view is neither political or scientific. My view is not about youthful rebellion in youth, not about youthful questing for purpose and validation – but of keeping that youthful zeal, not giving up on it but fuelling, particularly as we grow older, to re-energize our tired bodies and semi re-tired minds to become vital, vibrant and vivacious once again.
You see, I think there are two purposes on earth, for each of us.
The first, is survival.
After that, there is one other.
Do you know what it is?
Have you found it yet?
What is yours?
If not, it is out there waiting for you – it is not always easy to find however, because there are so many things to do, causes to take up, people to wake up, rocks to turn over that it might take half your life, or even longer, to find it. It is possible you might die before you do.
But, once you find it – then knowing it – well, that becomes the easy part, because once you’ve found it you’ll know you have.
It makes you stand up, wake up, shake up – everything and everyone around you when you say I have found it. It proves itself to you daily, every day – and even on the sleepy slow days when dragging a tired or sick body out of bed seems most difficult, you’ll still know, that your found purpose, your found avocation, your found passion – is your found raison d'être.
I’m not down or blue, not sad or mad at me, or at you – I’m just here, just plain, wondering, again, what it is that wakes the energy in me, what it is that makes me want to go, want to know, want to show something to someone. What is that?
I grew up.
But did I grow?
Growing up I did not, looking back, feel that I grew much other than in size; I grew apart and inward more than I grew toward something or toward someone. But, when we are growing up we fake it till we make it so to speak.
As I grow older, heavier and slower – growth must be more than girth; growth must be something I am worth, or otherwise why go on?
I’m not averse or worse – perverse – I’m just trying without verse to show the poetry of emotion is waiting by the ocean for me, and for thee, too, just waiting to see . . .
What am I doing?
I’m waking you up, shaking you up – lifting you, inspiring you (not all of you every day, but you get my meaning) that is my purpose.
I know my purpose. I’ve found it. It starts with words and ends with words – it is to do some good things, some daring things, some brave things, and to tell people about it so that they too might find the spring in their legs and coach them, help them strengthen their heart muscle, their personal art-muscle, by exercising their right, their responsibility, to run the world.
It rests on no other shoulders.
Mark Kolke
312,736
May 8 - SOME THINGS YOU CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT - Comments Received
It is incredible how alike we are, I too had a difficult relationship with my mother, she never even called me on my last birthday that she was alive only to die 6 weeks later. I too have gone to therapy but doesn't seem to help in many ways. I know the logical explanation but can't eliminate the hurt. WOW, however I am a good mother (most of the time) and do not allow certain behaviors of my mother come through, it is a work in progress all the time. I am going to send your column to my sister today, she didn't even want to come to my mother's funeral, I made her, wasn't pretty, MM, Arlington Heights, IL
Mark, as I am sure you're aware, mothering is a skill that is learned, and looking back I can see the good and bad in what I accomplished. It is enlightening to have discussions with my girls on what I did right and wrong. I find it interesting how they have much different perspectives on what transpired in those years. I feel sad for anyone that has not been able to have those talks as they give us an opportunity to communicate as adults and to possibly resolve misunderstandings. Parenting is one of the life skills we get no prep for which is so unfortunate. I have struggled with the letting go of my mothering role and am grateful for the progress made. A process! I am also one of those single women you say have it easier than single men. I disagree with anonymous in Edmonton I don't think your "bang on at all" I don't believe there is much difference. I go to bed alone etc and men need to" earn our trust as well as our lust" also!, LAH, Edmonton, AB
Mother`s Day. Not a good day for me either. Had a great relationship with my mother, but my ex alienated me from my sons. People don`t get it if you aren`t all kissy huggy out the day. I don`t think most people are honest about it. I like your honesty. Don`t let anyone talk you out of your experience as a child. Political Correctness......is often denial! Now as for single women, single men. Being a single woman who is not shallow and doesn`t enjoy the giggle giggle girly stuff, it is pretty lonely. I find it hard to fit anywhere. But I roll with it. Must be some reason for all this. I`ll die looking for the meaning of it all. I love the journey. Some days I crawl on my belly, other days I`m near the moon.Beats that flat line some people seem on. That bores me. I should call you. I told you I would didn`t I?, NB, Meadow Lake, SK
